Four Years
by willgirl
Summary: It's been four years since Booth set foot inside the Jeffersonian. But when he comes back to stay, things start to get complicated. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay so here I go again! It's actually not a sequel to Fiat Justitia however that will be coming. It's just something that I wrote that I can't get out of my head.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Seriously I have no assets, least of all Booth and Brennan! They belong to Fox and Hart Hansen unfortunately!**

Chapter One 

Booth walked into the Jeffersonian feeling nervous. He watched the hustle and bustle of the scientists within and felt his heart tug. It had been four years since he had been here and yet it felt like yesterday. It still smelled the same that was for sure.

"Can I help you?" a security guard asked him.

"Umm, I'm Special Agent Seeley Booth. I'm here to see Angela Montenegro." He replied.

"Okay, hold on one moment." The security guard said as he walked off.

He knew, from remaining in contact with Angela, that everyone except Cam and Dr. Goodman were still here. Dr. Goodman had retired and Cam had taken another position in New York about three years ago. He glanced around nervously. He wasn't ready to see her, not yet. He knew that as soon as he saw Angela, she would want him to see Brennan but he needed to take this slow.

The security guard rounded the corner with Angela in tow.

"BOOTH!" she shouted, running up to him and giving him a hug. "I can't believe it's you, what are you doing here?"

"Angela, calm down." He said smiling. "I will tell you everything. Can you tear yourself away from that husband of yours to go out for lunch with me?"

"Please." She replied. "You know Jack, he's got his head stuck in some pile of dirt. Let's go."

He breathed a sigh of relief and headed out the door.

They walked along the street to the diner.

"Are you still eating here?" he chuckled.

"Believe me, I have tried to pull Jack and Zach away from this place but it hasn't worked. Between this and Wong Foo's, I am surprised I haven't put on tons of weight." Angela said, opening the door and walking in.

He stood in the doorway nervously.

"Don't worry." She said. "She's in her office, I checked. She doesn't really eat here anymore. At least not for lunch."

He nodded and headed over to a booth and sat down.

He cleared his throat.

"Are we going to do this thing where we dance around the subject and never bring her up even though you really want to know how she is doing?" Angela said, before he got a chance to speak.

"Angela.." he started.

"She's fine." Angela interrupted. "She's Brennan. She pretends she is fine, even when she is not. You know her."

"Yeah." He replied. "How are you and Jack?"

"We're okay." Angela said. "We are hanging in there. I mean, everything is fine really, but you know.."

He did know. Having spent the last four years emailing and talking with Angela, he had gathered from reading between the lines that they had some difficulty in conceiving. She never came out and said it, but he knew she had miscarried several times.

"Enough about me." Angela said. "Tell me what you are doing here."

"Rebecca got another job and moved back here with Parker." He said. "So of course I came."

"I'm glad." Angela said. "I've missed you. We have all missed you."

"I've missed you too." He admitted. "Here's the thing, Angela. When I told Cullen I was back, he immediately reassigned me to be the FBI liaison at the Jeffersonian."

"Oh." Angela said, realizing the gravity of the situation.

"I know." He said. "I'm not happy, but considering that I requested a transfer four years ago without notice, I can't really turn Cullen down."

"Well you will be better than the last few we had." Angela said grimly.

"Not working well with Bones?" he asked.

"Not working well is an understatement." She replied. "She made one of them cry."

He chuckled. "Well she sounds the same."

"Sounds the same but she's different." Angela said seriously.

He nodded. They ordered their food and once it came, Booth dug in. Despite looking everywhere in Palmdale for a place like this, he could never find one that matched the taste of the diner.

"So how is she?" Angela finally asked.

"Chris?" he replied. "She's fantastic. Precocious, of course. But beautiful."

"I got the pictures you sent me." Angela said. "She's adorable."

He flipped out his wallet and pulled out some pictures. "These are the latest." He said, passing them to Angela.

Angela fingered the pictures gently and smiled. "She definitely has your charm smile, Booth." She said.

"Yeah." He replied. "But the rest is all Temperance."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I couldn't stop writing so here is chapter two! Dedicated to Rosie and Bella!

Chapter Two 

After a very long lunch with Angela where she insisted that they meet for dinner, Booth headed back to the office and spent the afternoon filling out transfer paperwork. He had been surprised when Cullen had offered him his old office back, and despite feeling bad about kicking another agent out, he didn't refuse. It definitely felt good. He managed to finish pretty early and headed home to the love of his life.

He put his key in the door and as soon as he opened it, his legs were attacked by a body.

"DADDY!" Chris said, jumping up and down.

He scooped her up into his arms and gave her a kiss.

"Hey monkey." He said.

"Daddddy." Chris replied "I'm not a monkey!"

"You're not?" he said astonished. "Then why do you eat so many bananas, huh?" He started to tickle her tummy.

"Stop it, Daddy! Stop it." Chris said, wiggling out of his arms and running inside the apartment.

"Hey Shelly." He said to the amused woman standing in the living room.

"Hi Mr. Booth." Shelly replied.

"Was she good today?" he asked.

"Very." Shelly said. "She and I are still getting used to each other. She is a very smart little girl."

"Thanks." He replied. "And thank you for doing this. It's only until next week and then she will be going into daycare."

"No problem." Shelly said, getting her coat. "As I said, she is a great little girl you have there. Same time tomorrow?"

"Yes that would be great, thanks." He replied as she headed out the door.

He shut the door behind her and went hunting for his daughter.

"Chris?" he said, looking in the living room. "Come out, come out wherever you are." He heard a faint giggle from the back of the apartment. He weaved through the boxes that were yet to be unpacked and headed to the back. He went straight into her room where he saw a leg sticking out from under the bed.

"Christine Booth, where are you?" he said, pretending that he didn't see her. "Hmm… is she in here?" he said, looking in the closet. "Nope not in there." Another giggle erupted from under the bed.

"Well where could she be?" he said, putting his hands on his hips. "I guess she doesn't want to come out to dinner in a fancy restaurant with me. I will have to eat the food all by myself!" He started to walk out of the room.

"I'm here Daddy, I'm here." Chris said, wiggling herself out from under the bed.

"You were there the whole time?" he replied. "I would have never found you!"

Chris giggled. "You are silly daddy!" she said.

"Come on, let's go to Wong Foo's." he said. "You can meet Sid, you will like him."

"Okay." She replied. "Can I bring my book?"

"Sure, which one?" he asked.

"The bone one!" she replied.

"Okay." He said, pulling the well worn kids book of human anatomy off of her bookshelf.

"Let's go." He said. He got Chris into her coat and boots and they headed out the door. As they drove to Wong Foo's he listened to her endless questions and tried for the hundredth time to forget where her inquisitiveness came from. It was most likely that she was going to be there tonight and he was going to stroll in carrying their daughter and pretend like nothing happened. Like after nearly six months into their relationship she found out she was pregnant and then didn't want anything to do with him. And how he spent the next nine months watching her carry his child from a distance and yet so close at the same time. They had continued their working relationship, much to the surprise of everyone. He had been in a meeting when she had gone into labour. He had gotten out of the meeting only to discover a voicemail from Angela, hurriedly telling him that Brennan had gone into labour. By the time he got to the hospital it was over and there was Temperance lying in the hospital bed, coldly telling him to take the baby.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Chris, who was asking him yet another question.

"Hold that thought, babe." He replied as he pulled into the parking lot of Wong Foo's. "We are here." Whatever happened in the past, he needed to forget it. He had Chris and that was all that mattered.

"K, Daddy." Chris said back. He got out of the car and pulled her out of her seat, passing her the anatomy book along with Mr. Franks, a stuffed dog that she never went anywhere without. He lifted her up into her arms and walked towards the door of Wong Foo's. 'Here we go.' He thought to himself.

They entered Wong Foo's and he immediately saw Angela, Zach and Hodgins sitting at a booth. 'No sign of her.' He thought to himself as he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Booth!" Sid shouted from behind the bar.

"Hey Sid." He replied as Sid came over to see them. "Sid this is my daughter, Chris. Chris this is Sid."

"Well, hello." Sid said, shaking her head. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Mr. Sid." Chris replied.

"Good to see you Booth." Sid said. "We missed you around here."

"Thanks. Sid I have to say, I looked up and down the coast of California and couldn't find a place like this. My mouth was watering the whole plane ride back." He said.

"You know it." Sid chuckled as he made his way back behind the bar. "I will bring you both your food in a minute. I am assuming you are sitting with them?"

"Yeah." He replied, looking over to where the squints were sitting. Angela was squirming, Hodgins had to hold her back from running towards them.

He made his way over to the table.

"Hey guys." He said.

"Hey man, what's up?" Hodgins replied, shaking his hand. "Good to see you."

He grinned. "Good to see you too Hodgins. Hey Zach."

"Hey Agent Booth." Zach replied.

"This is my daughter Chris. Chris these are my friends, Angela, Jack and Zach. They work with me." He said.

"For the FBI?" Chris asked, eyes widening.

"Yeah, for the FBI." He replied chuckling. They all shuffled over and Booth sat down with Chris in between him and Zach.

"Daddy, can I have my book?" Chris asked.

"Sure pumpkin." He replied, reaching for the book in the bag he brought.

"Daddy, I'm not a pumpkin!." She said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "I'm a little girl!"

He passed her the book and swept some of the hair out of her face. "Yes you are." He replied.

"The Kids Book of Human Anatomy?" Angela asked.

"Yeah, well.." he shrugged.

"My daddy taught me the names of all the bones!" Chris said excitedly. "He's really smart."

They all looked at him questioningly.

"I just wanted to make sure that she had that side of her nurtured too. You know, the science side." He said.

They nodded.

"So, everything the same here?" he asked.

"I have a girlfriend." Zach blurted out.

Everyone started laughing.

"Good for you Zach." He replied, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Thanks." Zach said.

"Everything is much the same." Hodgins said. "You?"

"Well I am assuming Angela told you I am back working with you guys." He said. "Rebecca got a job offer back here and moved back with Parker, so I came."

"How is Parker?" Angela asked.

His eyes lit up. "He's fantastic. He's turning ten next month. He definitely misses all of you. I will bring him in one day."

"That would be great." Angela said.

Sid came over with their food.

"Noodles!" Chris shouted causing everyone to laugh.

He looked down at his own dish of food. "Thanks Sid."

"No problem, G-man." Sid replied.

They sat and ate and laughed as they recounted old stories. As Hodgins and Zach started yet another story of their newest incompetent agent, he looked down and realized that Chris was sound asleep next to him.

"Sorry guys." He interrupted. "But I should go. It's past our bedtime."

He reached down and gently put her coat back on and then pulled her into his arms. Chris shifted slightly but then fell back asleep.

"Thanks for this." He said. "It was nice."

"Anytime." Angela said. "This will be a regular occurrence now that you are back."

He reached into his pocket and threw some bills on the table. He walked over to the bar .

"Night Sid." He said. "Thanks."

He shifted Chris in his arms and turned around only to come face to face with Temperance Brennan.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So basically everyone at the Boneyard bribed me with Tim Hortons dollars and tried to mob me, so you can thank them for this chapter!**

**Chapter Three**

"Hi." He blurted out. 'Stupid, stupid.' He thought to himself.

She just stood there, stunned. Her eyes flicked from him to the sleeping child in his arms then back to him again.

"Hi Booth." She finally managed to get out. He nodded and they stood there, neither of them knowing what to do.

"So…ummm…I should.." he said, tilting his head towards Chris.

"Right, right. I'm sorry. I just came for some takeout." She said. "I didn't think you would be here." She saw the look of hurt flash across his face. "I didn't mean.."

"It's okay, Tem...Bones." he stuttered.

They were silent, neither of them knowing how to get out of their awkward situation.

"Daddy?" Chris said, lifting her head up. "Where are we?"

"Um, we are just leaving Sid's, okay?" he replied. "Just go back to sleep."

"Where's Mr. Franks?" Chris asked.

He looked around and realized he must have left it at the table.

"Let's go get him." He said.

"Who is that?" Chris asked, pointing to Brennan. "Does she work at the FBI too?"

"Yeah, she does." He replied. "Chris, this is….Tempe. Tempe, this is Chris."

"Hi." Chris said. "You're pretty."

"Chris?" She asked.

"My real name's Christine, but Daddy calls me Chris." Chris said.

"Christine." She repeated, looking at Booth in wonder. "You called her Christine."

"Yeah." He replied, trying not to lose himself in her eyes.

"Let's go find Mr. Franks." He said abruptly, moving towards the table. They found him next to Zach.

"Okay, we've got Mr. Franks, we've got your book, time to put you to bed." He said. "Say goodbye to the squints."

"Bye squints!" Chris shouted, causing everyone to laugh.

He moved away from the table and started to head out the door.

"Bye Tempe!" Chris said, as they passed her.

"Bye." She replied softly. She nodded at Booth and turned to the bar.

He carried Chris out to the car. She was asleep by the time he pulled out of the parking lot. As he drove home he thought about what happened. He punched the steering wheel in frustration. He thought he could handle it, but then she walked in and it was like it was yesterday. He remembered everything. The way she kissed him, how she felt underneath him, how she would blush when he called her beautiful. With one glance, he felt himself crashing hard. He punched the steering wheel again.

This was not how it was supposed to be. She left him. She was the one who pushed him away. He should be angry as hell, he should have yelled at her for everything, for leaving him with Chris. He was alone for four years, raising a daughter all by himself.

But in that one glance he fell in love with her all over again. 'Dammit.' He said quietly. He glanced back in the rear view mirror at his sleeping daughter. He was right before when he said she was all Temperance. Sometimes she would flash him a smile or get a look on her face that reminded him so much of Temperance that he would have to leave the room.

He pulled into the parking space of his new apartment and got out of the car. He unbuckled Chris and carried her upstairs, placing her in her bed. He took off her jacket and shoes, but left her clothes on. He walked back out to the living room and starting digging through the boxes until he found what he was looking for.

He headed over to the couch and sat down, fingering the picture in his hands. When he moved, he had gotten rid of all the pictures of the two of them together, but he couldn't throw out this one. It wasn't even important. It didn't happen on a special day, it was just a picture that Angela had taken when neither of them were looking. They were staring into each other's eyes and smiling.

A tear slipped down his cheek and hit the picture. He thought he could do this, come back here, walk into her life and everything would be fine. He knew now that wasn't going to happen. A part of him didn't want Chris to know Temperance at all. She was the one, after all who had so coldly told him in the hospital that she didn't want her, would never want her.

This is how it was going to be. The two of them dancing around each other, pretending like nothing happened. He would walk into the Jeffersonian tomorrow with a case and everything would be back to normal. Or at least they would pretend it was normal.

He fingered the picture again, looking at how happy they were. That is what he wanted. He wanted to be happy with her. The picture fell, fluttering to the ground as he put his head in his hands.

He thought he could do this, but maybe he couldn't.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here is the next chapter, I hope you enjoy. By the way, I know Brennan is acting a little emotionally distant right now, but it will all be explained in due time!**

**Chapter Four**

He walked into the Jeffersonian the next afternoon feeling exhausted. He hadn't got much sleep last night and felt like he had barely slept at all when Chris pushed him awake this morning. He watched her, bent over the table, examining some bone or another.

"Do we have a case?" she said, without turning around.

"Yes." He replied, striding up the steps and stopping. "Body found in the dumpster on 4th. I'll tell you about it on the way."

She nodded and placed the bone back on the table.

"Zach." She called.

Zach appeared on the platform, followed by a young woman.

"Can you supervise Kelly as she finishes my analysis?" she asked.

"Absolutely Dr. Brennan." Zach replied.

He watched as she grabbed her coat and her kit and followed him out to the SUV. He had subconsciously reached up to place his hand on her back and then dropped it immediately.

They did their jobs as usual, processing the crime scene, bagging the body, collecting samples. But it was different. There was no friendly banter, in fact the car ride both to and from remained mostly silent.

When he had attempted conversation by positing a scenario, she just nodded and agreed with him.

They got back to the Jeffersonian and she had immediately told him that she would call him when they had the id. He was about to protest his obvious dismissal when he looked down at his watch and realized he needed to get home to Chris. Flicking a brief glance at a concerned-looking Angela, he turned and headed out the doors.

As he drove home, he knew that they would have to talk and soon. Their partnership which they had spent nearly three years building up, was gone. He decided that they needed to deal with this right away. He wouldn't be able to stand another day.

He picked up Chris and after stopping to eat, headed back to the Jeffersonian. When he walked in, he noticed that the team was still there working. Before he could say anything, Chris piped up.

"Hi Angela, Hi Jack, Hi Zach."

The squints looked up as Chris wiggled out of his arms and ran up the stairs, causing the alarms to go off. Scared, Chris turned and ran smack into Brennan's legs. He ran up the stairs, swiping his card on the way, to turn off the alarms.

"Chris." He said panicked. He reached her and scooped her up in his arms. "Don't worry, princess, it's just the alarm."

"That…was…scary." She said between sobs.

"I know..sshh…it's okay." He said, rocking her back and forth. At the same time, he was trying to stop his heart from beating out of his chest. He knew she wasn't in any real danger, but that didn't stop him from reacting the way he did. He always did, even if she did something as simple as fall off a swing.

"Is she okay?" a voice said softly. He turned to face Brennan.

"She'll be fine." He replied, more harshly then he intended. He thought of something that never failed to make his daughter smile. "Won't you pumpkin?" he said, making his voice cheery.

"Daddy!" Chris said giggling. "For once and all, I'm not a pumpkin, I'm a little girl!"

"If you say so." He said, pretending to look confused. "But you look round and you have a pointy handle on top, like a pumpkin."

"Daddy, that's my ponytail." Chris said. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Hey Hodgins, are you busy?" he asked. "What I mean is, would you mind looking after Chris for a minute?"

"Sure." Hodgins replied. "C'mon kid, want to see my bug collection?"

"Yeah!" Chris said, running over.

He turned to Brennan. "We need to talk." He said.

"About what?" she asked.

"About today. About us working together." He replied, trying not to get frustrated.

"There is nothing to talk about." She replied, turning back to the table.

"Yes there is." He said, hitting the table with his hand and causing the bones to rattle.

"Please do not put your hands on the table." She stated in a monotone voice. "You will contaminate the evidence."

"God dammit Bones!" he said, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Keep your voice down." She said. "We are in the Jeffersonian. People are trying to work."

"It's 8 at night Bones, nobody is trying to work." He replied. "I need to know how we can make this work."

"Umm.." Angela piped up. "Maybe you should both go into Bren's office. It's probably a better idea."

"No Ange, that's not necessary." She said. "There is nothing to talk about."

He clenched his fists in anger and tried to calm himself down. It didn't work.

"Do you think this is easy for me?" he shouted. "I am back here working with you after everything that has gone on between us. You are the mother of my child, for god's sake Temperance! But I am trying. I tried to talk to you all day and you ignored me. Then you brushed me off. If we want to work together we need to solve this."

"It's not easy for me either." She said, her voice rising in anger. "I didn't ask for you to come back, so why are you here? And you bring her here and are parading her around in front of me, like I am supposed to feel guilty. I get it Booth. You are the superdad and I am just the woman who abandoned her baby. I don't need that shoved in my face."

"Okay guys…" Angela started.

"You need to figure this out." He replied, cutting Angela off. "Because we need to work together. And as for Chris, she is my life. That means that you are going to see her. A lot. Work it out, deal with it, whatever. I am not saying that we become best friends again, we both know that isn't going to happen. But we need to be civil to each other if we are going to work together. Agreed?"

"Fine." She muttered, picking up another bone. "If we are going to be professional, then don't call me Temperance. My name is Dr. Brennan." She said coldly.

Her words were like a slap in the face.

"Right." He said.

"Is that all?" she said, lifting her head and looking at him.

He looked into her eyes and saw coldness. He could always read her, but now she was different. She was cold and unemotional, nothing like the woman she used to be. For a brief moment he wanted to take her into his arms and shake her, make those emotions come back, help her deal with whatever was bothering her. He snapped out of it. If this is the way that she wanted to act, then it was the way it was going to be. She wasn't his anymore. He nodded and walked to Hodgins' office to get his little girl.

At least she loved him back.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: First of all, a big thank you to all who have reviewed! I am glad you are liking this story! It's going to be a long one, so hang in there! I took a different tack for this chapter and wrote it from Brennan's perspective.**

**Chapter Five**

Without looking at Angela, she turned and went into her office and shut the door.

'Breathe.' She thought to herself, holding her hand to her chest. 'Breathe.'

She closed the blinds and sat down on the couch, trying to calm herself down. She was shaking from head to toe. What was it about him that could make her lose her self control at the drop of a hat. She took a deep breath, in and then out. She clutched her shirt, her hands sweaty and shaking. In. Out. In. Out. Her heart was pounding rapidly.

'Calm down.' Her mind told her body. Despite saying this every time, her body usually didn't listen. This time however, she was fortunate and found herself calming down sufficiently after several minutes.

She slumped back on the couch. He was infuriating, insisting that they needed the friendly banter in order to solve the case. 'He's right.' She thought to herself. There was something missing today, but every time she opened her mouth she pictured him with Chris and she felt hurt. It wasn't his fault, it was entirely hers, she knew. But it didn't mean it stopped hurting.

And there was Chris. He named her Christine, when she found that out in Sid's, she didn't know what to do. It was just like Booth to do something like that. Whereas she was sure that Angela thought it was sweet, for her it was just another swift reminder that she was exactly like her mother. She had abandoned her child.

She knew Booth thought she had never seen Chris before. She had told him in the hospital that she had just wanted him to take her, she thought it would be better if she didn't see the girl at all. But later that night Booth had gone home, all of the squints had left at her insistence and she had found herself leaving her bed subconsciously and heading to the nursery where her daughter lay.

She had stared at the window, seeing the small baby with the label Booth. She was the smallest thing she had ever seen. She had jet black tufts of hair sticking up everywhere. A nurse had come out and told her that she could come in and hold her. By the time her mind protested, her body was already in there. The nurse had placed her in her arms and lead them to a rocking chair. And she held her baby. She wasn't sure how long she was there, but when the nurse commented that she was going to be a good mother, she jumped up and handed the baby back and went to her room.

And that was the last time she saw her. It was shortly after that Booth found out that Rebecca was moving. She had been glad to see him go, she couldn't stand having them here, so close. She worked for days straight, trying to get rid of the tingling feeling in her arms that remained from holding Chris. Even four years later, she could feel it, remember precisely the sounds and smells when she held that little girl.

When she saw Booth interact with Chris, she knew she made the right decision. He was so good with her, they made sense together. She would have just been in the way. Harder than seeing Chris was seeing Booth. He had loved her once, and now all she could see in his eyes of anger and hatred. He had every right to be mad she knew that. But she had seen quickly, a flash of concern in his eyes. She knew once he would have taken her into his arms and tried to fix whatever was bothering her. But a lot happened in four years. And there were some things that you couldn't fix.

She wiped away her tears angrily and stood up.

'Why are you crying?' she thought to herself. 'Don't be ridiculous.' She walked over to her desk. She pulled up her book and started typing. Her work, that is all that mattered. She just needed to keep working. If she kept working, then somewhere in the recesses of her mind, this would all go away.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

It had been a week since their argument in the lab. They had solved the case and had both made an effort to work together better. It wasn't the way it used to be though, not by a long shot. But they were trying.

He noticed however that every time he was there, she was there. It looked like she never left the lab. Although this was usual, this time it felt different. He walked past her office where she was furiously typing something and headed to Angela's office.

"Hey Angela," he said, finding Angela doing a facial reconstruction with the Angelator.

"Hey Booth." She replied. "Do we have a case?"

"No I just have a question. About Bones." He said. "I know this sounds ridiculous but I've been back here form almost three weeks and I have never seen her leave the lab."

Angela sighed. "I know for a fact she sleeps here at least three times a week."

"Why?" he asked.

"Booth, you've got to understand. She was so sacred when she got pregnant. And you know what she's like when she gets scared. She goes all anthropological."

"I know." He replied. "She wouldn't let me help her though."

Angela nodded. "I know. And I don't doubt that what happened was her fault. She shouldn't have pushed you away like that. But then you left with Chris and all of a sudden you weren't here to force her to go to Wong Foo's or to get some sleep." Angela said. "I tried, but clearly I am not as persuasive as you."

Angela got up, shut the door to her office and gestured to him to sit beside her on the couch.

"She pretended like nothing happened. She just kept working and continued to work cases with the new FBI agent. She took over as Head of Forensics when Cam left. She continued writing; three books in four years is a lot."

"Yeah." He said softly. "I have them, but I couldn't…. I couldn't read them."

"I don't know how she wrote them." Angela replied. "There's a lot of stuff about you two. It's like she was writing it how she wanted it to end in real life. But then about two years about something happened. She was on a case with Agent Meyers. She got kidnapped Booth, it was so scary."

"But they found her right?" he asked.

Angela nodded, tears springing to her eyes.

"Well then that's good." He said.

"Booth." Angela said firmly. "She was missing for nine days."

"What?" he asked.

"The FBI screwed up. They knew it was Williamson, he was the main suspect in the case we were working on. But they couldn't find where he was keeping her. Meyers gave all of the evidence to the FBI forensics team instead of us and the screwed it up. Cullen came after six days. I remember the look on his face as he walked in. He told us to prepare ourselves for bad news. I thought she was dead." Angela said, wiping the tears from her face.

"Why didn't you tell me Angela?" he asked angrily.

"I didn't want to call you until we were sure." Angela replied. "It was awful Booth. Zach was in a daze and Jack, he took it really hard. At first he was sure that she was fine, but a day before she was rescued, I found him throwing things around the lab. He finally calmed down and said he was angry at…" she hesitated, not sure whether to continue.

"What Angela?" he asked. "Tell me."

"Jack said he was angry at you." She replied. "He told me about when he and Bren were buried in the car. He said that he had told Bren that she had faith in you, but she had argued with him, saying that fail was illogical whereas you had proven yourself in the past. You always came for her."

"But this time I didn't come for her, I didn't protect her…." He replied, putting his head in his hands.

"It's not your fault." Angela said. "You didn't know."

"What happened, Angela?" he asked quietly.

"They found her, chained to a pipe in the basement of one of his homes." Angela replied, her voice shaking. "When I got to the hospital, I went in and she was covered in bruises and…" Angela choked on her words.

"When the FBI got to the house, she was the only one there. They never caught Williamson. Three months later he was found dead of a heart attack in a motel room in North Carolina. Bren was back to work after three days and wouldn't say anything about it. The only thing she said to me in the hospital was for me not to call you. She insisted."

"You should have called me anyway." He said.

"I know, but Booth if you had seen her, I had to promise. She wouldn't let them treat her further until I promised." Angela said. "It was the last time she did fieldwork for the FBI until you came back. So you may think she's not trying, but she is. It's a big step for her."

"I didn't know Angela." He said, his body shaking slightly.

"I know." She replied, placing her hand on his shoulder. "It's not anybody's fault except the bastard that did it to her.

"I'm worried we won't get better." He said. "I can't stand being with her like this. I just want us to at least be friends. The way we used to be before we dated, before Chris. I won't be able to do this for long."

"Booth." Angela said. "I'm worried too."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry for the delay! Easter got into the way! I am posting two chapters at once, which I hope will make up for the fact that they are kind of short! My internet has been down so I haven't had a chance to send out an email to thank people individually, so I wanted to say a big thank you! I appreciate all of the reviews they spur me on! So thanks!**

**Chapter Seven**

"So what are you doing this weekend, Zach?" Hodgins asked.

"We haven't decided yet." Zach replied.

"We?" Booth said, coming up on the platform, Chris in his arms.

"Yes, my girlfriend Sara and I." Zach replied.

"Hi squints!" Chris shouted.

Booth chuckled as the others glared.

"What are you two up to?" Angela asked.

"Parker's coming!" Chris shouted.

"Man, you're going to have your hands full." Hodgins said.

"Actually Parker's pretty good." He replied. "He's nine now, still into science that's for sure. Thanks for that you guys!"

"No problem." Zach said seriously.

"Hi Tempe!" Chris said, spotting Brennan coming towards them.

"Hi Chris." She replied warmly. "I just came to tell everyone that you can leave early. Have a good weekend." She turned to head back to her office.

"Wait!" he said. "What are you doing this weekend?"

"I have work to do." She replied stiffly and then retreated into her office.

"Daddy can Tempe come to the park with us tomorrow?" Chris asked.

"Umm…well.." he replied, unsure of how to respond. Chris wiggled out of his arms and ran over to Tempe's office. She knocked on the door and Brennan opened it.

"Tempe, do you want to come to the park with us tomorrow?" Chris asked.

"I…uh…" she stuttered.

"Please? Please Tempe!" Chris pleaded. "Daddy makes sandwiches and we swing on the swings and Parker's coming!"

She looked over at Booth. She was surprised to see he looked interested as well and he grinned rather awkwardly.

Before she knew what she was doing, she replied "Okay."

"Tempe's coming! Tempe's coming! Chris said, jumping up and down.

"Should we pick you up tomorrow?" he asked.

"No I can just meet you there." She replied. Her heart was beating rapidly. 'Why would I agree to this?' she thought to herself.

"Okay it's the park on Evangeline and Peter St." he said.

She nodded in reply.

"Come on princess." He said to Chris. "Let's go get Parker. Oh," he said, turning back to her. "Here's the file you needed."

She moved towards him and took it from his hand. "Thanks." She said softly.

"11 o'clock okay for tomorrow?" he asked.

"Sure." She replied, trying to make her voice sound more confident then she felt.

He scooped up Chris and headed for the exit. "Bye guys." He said to the squints.

'She agreed. I didn't think she would agree.' He thought as he walked out the door.

'Oh god, I agreed.' She thought as she watched them go. 'What do I do?'

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She was awoken by the sound of pounding on her front door. She blinked and sat up. There was a pause and then it continued. She got out of bed, trudged to the front door and opened it, only to find a perky Angela on the other side.

"Morning, Bren." Angela said, making her way into the apartment.

"What time is it?" she replied.

"Almost nine." Angela said.

"Oh god!" she said, turning and flying out of the living room before Angela could say anything.

"Bren, you are meeting Booth in two hours." Angela said, putting down the coffee and muffins she was carrying and following Brennan into the bedroom.

"I know, but I was planning on going into the lab first. I need to check Zach's findings for the…"

"Bren, calm down." Angela interrupted. "That can wait until Monday. Now come, I've brought you a coffee. I've got muffins too."

"Fine." She said as she followed Angela back into the living room.

"So." Angela said as she passed Brennan her coffee. "What are you going to wear?"

"What?" she asked, totally confused by Angela's question.

"To the park? With Booth, remember?" Angela asked.

"No, Angela please." She said, shaking her head. "Before your matchmaking between Booth and I was just annoying, now it's ….. just please."

"Sorry Bren." Angela replied. "I just want you to be happy."

"I'm fine." She replied.

"That line is getting old sweetie." Angela said, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Angela, please." She said forcefully. She didn't want to talk about this. Any of it.

Angela nodded and gave her a half-hearted smile and she relaxed.

"What about you and Jack?" she asked. "How are you?"

She saw a flash of pain cross Angela's face before it was masked quickly by a smile.

"Fine." Angela replied softly. "We're fine."

They both sat and drank their coffee in silence as each of them remembered back to a time when they used to confide in each other. Their friendship was just another innocent victim of the last four years.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

She sat in her kitchen and stared at the ticking clock.

10:21.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

She sat frozen, still in her pajamas. Coffee and muffins still on the table from where her and Angela had sat and had coffee. She knew she needed to get up and get ready. In a little over a half an hour she had to be at the park with Booth. And Chris and Parker. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She had agreed to do this. She looked down into her daughter's eyes and found herself unable to say no. 'My daughter.' She thought to herself. 'No, Booth's daughter.' She corrected. 'She is Booth's daughter now.'

Tick. Tick. Tick.

She clenched her hands into fists. She could do this. She was perfectly capable of taking down a suspect or solving a murder, why couldn't she do this? 'This will make us better partners.' She thought. 'That's all that matters. The work is all that matters.' She slowly got up from the table and headed to the shower, the phrase repeating itself over and over in her head. 'The work is all that matters.'

She went through the rest of her morning routine like a robot. She didn't realize what she was wearing until she came to her jewellery box. She opened it and digging around, pulled out her mother's earrings. She hadn't worn them in a long time. They reminded her of her mother but also of Booth. She thought back to when he had come down to New Orleans, protesting that she was innocent. He had taken the earring for her, he would have done anything for her and she repaid him by denying him the one thing that he wanted. A happy family. But he could never see that she couldn't give him that.

She held out the earring in front of her and twisted it around as the sunlight from her window struck it. She put the earring back in the jewellery box and moved away. 'One thing at a time.' She thought to herself.

She grabbed her coat and keys, slipped on her running shoes and headed out the door. She headed towards the car but then paused, deciding to walk. She strode quickly in the direction of the street, anxious to get this afternoon over with. She didn't know what to do or how to behave. She knew it would be awkward seeing Parker, they had become quite close when her and Booth were dating but once she got pregnant she asked Booth not to see Parker anymore. She didn't want to get more attached then she already was.

And what was she supposed to do with Chris? She only been around one four year old before and that was Parker. And Chris was a girl, she probably did different things. She shook her head, trying to get rid of the thoughts swirling in her mind. And Booth. What was she supposed to talk about with Booth? She knew this was a bad idea.

She crossed the street, rounded a corner and the park came into view. She felt her heart pound against her, her breathing had quickened and her hand automatically came to her chest as if the movement would slow her heart beat down. She continued walking however, scanning the park for them.

She was going to stop when she saw them in the middle of the park. Booth had a blanket spread out and was sitting on it, watching amusedly as Chris chased after Parker. The sounds of their laughter reached her ears and she stopped behind a tall oak tree. She watched as Booth checked his watch and looked around. She pressed herself further into the tree in hopes that he wouldn't see her. His attention was caught again by the two children playing and he laughed at their antics.

She tried to take a step forward but she couldn't. A tear slipped down her face as she watched them all laughing and happy. She couldn't disturb that. She had her chance four years ago and she lost it. If she walked towards them now, she would only cause him pain. And she wouldn't do that to him, not again.

She couldn't do that to Chris either. The little girl who she had held so tightly in her arms at the hospital, who had opened her eyes and looked at her, she deserved better. Better than a woman who never wanted a child, whose whole life revolves around bones and dead people.

She wouldn't do it. Even if he called her cold and unfeeling, even if Chris hated her. It was for the best. Seeley Booth was no longer hers and she would not hurt him by pretending that he was.

It would hurt her too. She would be so broken that this time she wouldn't be able to put herself back together. It was better this way.

She turned and left the park.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello everyone! Here is the next chapter! Sorry it's late, my internet is totally down and I am currently sitting at an internet café, hammering this out. Anyway here is Chapter nine, which will be followed shortly by Chapter 10. They are both a little short, but that just seems to be how it is going. I wanted to say thank you once again to all my reviewers I really appreciate it! And I can't believe I have so many people on alert for this story, it's the most I have ever had! **

**Chapter Nine**

Booth glanced at his watch again and looked around. He couldn't see her anywhere. He watched Parker and Chris running around and he smiled. They were the best of friends and even though Parker sometimes got annoyed at Chris, he protected her fiercely. He looked at his watch again. 11:10. He was about to dial her number when his cell phone rang.

"Booth." He said.

"Hi, it's me." She replied awkwardly.

"Hey are you lost?" he asked.

"Actually I'm not there. I'm at the lab. There was an emergency and I was called in to take care of it. It looks like I won't be able to make it." She said, keeping her voice steady.

"Is everyone okay?" he asked.

"Yeah everyone's fine. I just need to take care of the details. I guess that's what happens when you're the boss." She said. It was a weak lie and she knew it. She only hoped that he would believe her.

"Okay." He said, trying not to sound too disappointed. He looked over at the kids happily playing and awaiting her arrival and his heart sank.

"Well then…bye." She said.

He hung up the phone and sighed. 'Stupid, Seeley, stupid. This is what happens when you get your hopes up.'

"Daddy!" Chris said, running over to him. "When's Tempe coming?"

He saw Parker run up behind her.

"Umm…Tempe's not coming, sweetheart. There was a problem at the lab." He said wincing.

"Tempe's not coming?" Chris repeated, tears in her eyes. "But we were going to swing on the swings."

"I know, Chris and I'm sure that she's sorry she's going to miss that." He replied. He felt his heart break at the mournful look in her eyes. He looked over at parker who was trying to look like he didn't care, however Booth noted the tears brimming in his eyes.

"Come on you two. Why don't we go over to the swings?" he said, planting a fake grin on his face.

"Okay daddy." Chris said softly. They headed over to the swings and the two kids hopped on. After several minutes of swinging, where it was apparent neither of them were having much fun; Parker spoke up.

"Can we go home now, Dad?" he asked.

"If that's what you both want." Booth replied.

They both nodded and got off the swings. He packed up the picnic he had prepared and they headed to the car.

"Why don't we watch a movie when we get home, okay guys?" he said, as he buckled them both in.

"Sure dad." Parker said, giving him a small smile.

Chris nodded her head in agreement.

He knew they were both trying to make him feel better. He got into the driver's side and headed off in the direction of the apartment.

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'In the end, Charlie Bucket won a chocolate factory. But Willy Wonka got something even better. A family. And one thing was absolutely certain. Life had never been sweeter.'

He grabbed the remote, careful not to jostle Chris who was sound asleep on his lap. They had watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory once again. He looked over at Parker who was snuggled up on his other side.

"Dad?" Parker asked quietly.

"Yes, bub?" he answered.

"Why doesn't Dr. Bones like me anymore?" Parker said, looking up at him with wide eyes.

"What?" he replied. "She likes you."

"But then how come I haven't seen her since we moved back?" Parker asked. "She never came to visit and she stopped playing with me before we left."

"Oh Parker." He sighed. "It's complicated. But it has nothing to do with you, I promise."

"Is it because she's Chris's mom?" Parker asked.

"Wait, how do you know that?" he said, startled by Parker's question.

"Dad, I'm not stupid." Parker replied.

"I think that's part of it." He said honestly. "Parker sometimes grownups fight and have problems but that doesn't mean that Bones doesn't still love you okay?"

"Okay." Parker replied.

After a few minutes of silence, Parker spoke again.

"Dad?" Parker asked.

"Yes?" he replied.

"Dr. Bones loves you too."


	10. Chapter 10

He strode into the lab Monday morning thinking about his weekend. He had finally cheered up Parker and Chris by Sunday afternoon, but only after intense games of basketball, tea parties and all sorts of other things.

"Hey Angela, Hodgins." He said, coming up onto the platform.

"Hey Booth." Angela replied. "How was your day in the park with Bren and the kids?"

"What are you talking about Angela?" he said. "Bones was here dealing with the lab emergency."

"Lab emergency?" Hodgins asked. "I didn't hear about any lab emergency. I haven't checked all my email this morning though."

"So she lied to me." He said, shaking his head in anger. He saw her come up onto the platform with Zach, discussing something in great detail.

"You lied to me." He said loudly.

She stopped in her tracks and looked at him.

"Can we talk about this later?" She said hurriedly. "I have to call my editor…"

"No!" he almost shouted. "I need you to explain to me why you lied and I had to spend the rest of my weekend trying to convince two little kids that you didn't hate them."

"Booth…I…" she started. She had nothing to say, no reason, no explanation. She couldn't explain to him what she was having a hard time rationalizing to herself.

He just stared at her. "Well…" he asked. She didn't move or say a word and this infuriated him more. He growled in frustration and starting yelling, not caring that he was in the middle of the lab.

"Why are you like this?" he shouted. "You are not the Temperance I fell in love with, you're not even the Temperance I used to be friends with, not even close. Do you not see what you are doing? It's my fault, I know, I promised myself after you gave me Chris and pushed me out of your life, that I wouldn't let you hurt us again."

"And yet it happened. Maybe I deserve it, although I never figured out what I did wrong in the first place other than try to love you. But that little girl, the one you refused to love, she deserves better than that."

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He was shouting at her and she deserved it, she knew. It wasn't the words that hurt as much as the look of pure anger in his eyes. The look of hate. As he yelled, she squeezed her hands into fists, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. A bead of sweat trailed down her forehead. She was having trouble breathing.

'In. Out. In. Out.' She thought to herself.

She stared at him as he continued, her breaths getting shorter and shallower. Her vision went blurry and she struggled to focus on something, anything. She wasn't even listening to him anymore; she couldn't actually hear the words. She tried to calm herself down, but she couldn't. Her heart was pounding out of her chest, she was trying to will away the nausea she felt and she started trembling from head to toe. She swayed slightly and then as clear as day she heard Booth say, "Maybe it was a good thing you didn't become her mother."

It was the last thing she heard before she was overcome by darkness.

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He was yelling now, barely focused on her. He couldn't stop the words out of his mouth, they just kept coming, pouring out the frustration, anger and hurt of the last four years. He stopped to catch a breath and saw her sway slightly and then crumple to the ground.

He darted forward but couldn't catch her in time. He heard the sickening thud as her head smacked against the floor. He scooped her up into his arms.

"Call and ambulance!" he shouted as he tried to revive her. She looked so small and vulnerable in his arms, nothing like the person he had been yelling at a few minutes earlier.

'God, what have I done?' he thought to himself.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of the reviews for the last chapter. I am overwhelmed! I am trying to contact everyone individually, but I am having computer problems! Here is the next chapter. Small disclaimer: A subject is discussed here and in the coming chapters that may be sensitive to some people. **

**Chapter Eleven**

"_So…" he said, digging through one of the take out boxes from Wong Foo's._

"_What?" she asked, her mouth half full of noodles. She swallowed and looked at him. He had a strange expression on his face._

"_Nothing. I just didn't know what you wanted to talk about." He replied, putting his box of food down and turning to her._

"_Well the case went…" she started._

"_No. Not work." He replied, shifting closer to her. "Let's talk about something else."_

_She noted his close proximity and faintly blushed. He pulled the carton out of her hand, placed it on the table and turned back to her._

"_What do you want to talk about?" she managed to say._

_He reached up and brushed a hair away from her face._

"_Us." He said quietly._

"_What about us?" she asked, her heart pounding. "We're partners."_

"_And friends." He said._

"_Exactly." She replied, now realizing that his other hand was placed firmly on her waist and he was tugging her closer._

"_Booth." She whispered, averting her eyes from his penetrating gaze._

"_Please." He replied, cupping her cheek with his hand and moving closer. She looked up and stared into his eyes, seeing a mixture of love, fear and desire swirling in them. His lips were now inches away from hers._

"_Can I kiss you?" he asked._

_All rational thought flew out of her head and she managed to squeak out an "Okay" before he closed the distance and pressed his lips against hers. _

_It was their first kiss._

She blinked and tried to focus her eyes, no longer feeling the warmth of Booth's embrace.

"She's awake!" she heard Angela say.

She blinked again and Angela's face came into view. Her dream, so vivid a few moments before, faded as she looked around and noticed that she was in a hospital. 'Not again.' She thought to herself.

"Bren, are you okay?" Angela asked.

"What?" she replied, trying to sit up. "I'm fine." She looked over and saw the very worried faces of Angela, Hodgins, Zach and Booth. Booth was holding Chris in his arms.

"Why is she here?" she blurted out.

"There was a problem at daycare." Booth replied. "I had to go pick her up."

She nodded and moved the bed up to a sitting position.

"Can I leave now?" she asked.

"Well if it isn't Temperance Brennan." A man in a white lab coat said, coming into the room. "Hi Tempe."

"Hi Mark." She replied, ignoring the looks of surprise on her friends' faces.

"Tempe, Tempe, Tempe." Mark said. 'What am I going to do with you? »

"Excuse me, who are you?" Booth asked.

"Sorry. Forgive my manners. My name is Dr. Mark Grant. I'm Tempe's doctor." He said, holding out his hand.

Angela leaned forward and shook it.

"So." Mark said, grabbing a chair and sitting next to her bed. "I am going to bypass my usual spiel about how these panic attacks you are having would lessen if you stopped working so hard, forget the part where I write you a script for Lorazepam and get straight to the part where I ask you out on a date." He flashed a grin at her.

"Maaarrrk." She said.

"Tempe." Mark replied. They were silent for a moment.

"Oh well, can't blame a guy for trying." Mark said grinning.

She smiled back at him. They did this every time she visited the hospital. Every time he asked, she turned him down but that still didn't stop him from continuing to ask. It was now a running joke between them.

"Although you would think after two years…" Mark said, scribbling down something on a piece of paper. He looked up and saw an amused look on her face. "Yeah, yeah. I know." He replied.

"Here." He said, handing her the piece of paper. "I had to go through with it. It's a prescription for Lorazepam. Do me a favour and don't throw it out until you leave the hospital as a courtesy to me. Last time, I found it in the trashcan of the room; that was just embarrassing. I do have a reputation to uphold." He chuckled.

She nodded and let out a soft laugh. "So I can leave?" she asked.

"In half an hour." Mark replied.

"Half an hour?" she said loudly.

"And not a second sooner." Mark said. His expression turned serious. "Tempe, you need to deal with this."

"I'm fine." She said stubbornly.

"Eleven panic attacks in two years doesn't sound fine to me." Mark replied firmly. "And those are only the ones you came in for. I know you are having more."

She just stared at him silently.

"Fine." Mark said, getting up off the chair. "I will get your discharge papers."

He turned to the team. "Make sure she doesn't do anything for the next half hour. No cell phone, no nothing." Mark said.

Hodgins nodded. "Thank you doctor." He said. The others just stood there in shock.

"Bye Tempe." Mark said, as he headed out of the room.

Booth was the first to speak.

"Panic attacks?" he said.

"It's nothing." She replied. "Don't worry about it."

"Tempe?" Chris said in a small voice. "Are you going to die?"

She looked, and seeing the tears welling in Chris's eyes, felt her chest tighten.

"I'm fine." She repeated.

A tear slipped down Chris's cheek and her arms were stretched out, trying to reach the hospital bed.

"Daddy, I want to see Tempe." Chris said.

Booth automatically moved toward the bed and Chris wiggled out of his arms and into hers. She felt Chris's small arms wrap around her neck and her head was buried into her chest.

She blinked and looked down at the little girl who was holding her so tightly. She instantly remembered the feeling of holding Chris as a baby in this very hospital. The tingling in her arms, the smell of baby powder mixed with disinfectant.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and started wheezing slightly. She felt Chris being lifted out of her arms and when she opened her eyes, only Booth and Angela remained in the room.

"Is it half an hour yet?" she asked, ignoring their looks of concern.

"What happened?" Booth asked, bypassing her question.

"What are you talking about?" she said.

"You have been having panic attacks for two years." He replied. "Two years ago you were kidnapped. Now what happened."

Her eyes darted to Angela. "You told him?" she said angrily.

"Only a few days ago." Angela replied, tears in her eyes. "I was worried about you. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's nothing, I told you." She said firmly.

"Temperance." He said, staring at her. "What the hell happened?"

"Angela told you." She replied stiffly. "You know the story."

"Uh uh." He said. "There's something else, I can feel it. Something else happe4ned other than you being chained to that pipe."

She turned her head away from his piercing stare. He had a way of looking at you, like he could see right through you. Like he knew all of your secrets. This is what made him an excellent FBI agent. She had always envied this skill of his.

"Temperance." He said again, cupping her face and bringing it back towards him. His eyes were pleading. "Please." He begged.

"I was raped, okay?" she said harshly, tossing her head out of his grasp. She turned away from him and stared at the wall. Her voice became soft.

"They raped me."

Before either of them could respond, they heard a piercing scream in the hallway.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I don't even know what to say anymore except thank you!! I have 83 reviews, which is the most I have ever had so thank you!! **

**Chapter Twelve**

"Chris!" Booth yelled, running out of the room. He ran smack into Hodgins who was carrying Chris.

"What happened?" he said frantically taking her out of Hodgins arms.

"Nothing. She's fine." Hodgins replied quickly. "A surgeon was coming down the hall and she freaked out."

"Okay baby, it's okay." He said to Chris, who was sobbing in his arms. He looked at Hodgins and Zach, both of whom looked terrified.

"Ssssh." He said, entering the room. "She doesn't like hospitals, it's a long story." He walked over to the chair in the corner and sat down, rocking her slowly.

"It's okay." He soothed. "It will be okay.

'I'll make it okay.' He thought to himself. He flicked a glance at Brennan who was half out of the hospital bed as if she was going to leap into action. 'I'll make you both okay.'

"Sssh." He said, pressing a kiss on the top of Chris's head.

"Daddy?" Chris said, sitting up.

"What baby?" he replied, his voice shaking as he looked at her red, tearstained face.

"Are the…bad guys….going to come….get you again?" she asked, every other word punctuated by a sob.

"No sweetheart." He said, pulling her close. "Why do you think that?"

"Cuz." She sniffled. "I was playing with Dr. Zach and Dr. Jack and a man with a mask came and that's what happened when the bad guys shot you."

'Chris, I promise the bad guys aren't coming, okay?" he said fervently, thinking back to when that happened. He knew he would never let that happen again.

"Is everything alright in here?" a nurse said, coming in the room.

"Yes we are fine." He replied. "She just got scared."

"Okay." The nurse replied. She turned to Brennan. "Here are your discharge papers, Ms. Brennan."

"Thank you." She said distractedly, not even bothering to correct the nurse on her name. She was too busy watching Booth rock Chris back and forth. She could see Booth was upset; he was trembling from head to toe. And the look in his eyes, at first she didn't recognize it but then she realized what it was. He looked frightened. She had never seen him look that frightened before.

Several minutes passed without anyone saying a word.

"She's asleep." Booth said quietly. He saw the questioning looks on everyone's faces.

"About thirteen months ago, I was on a case. We were getting closer to the suspect, David Keel. Finally we caught up to him but it turned out that an FBI agent turned dirty and ratted us out. We walked into a trap. I was shot twice in the chest and once in the arm." He said.

"Chris had a nanny at the time, Susan, who had found out what happened when the FBI contacted her. She couldn't get a hold of Rebecca so she went to the hospital with Chris. Apparently they arrived just in time to see me being wheeled into an elevator on my way to surgery. I was unconscious and there was blood everywhere. Chris had nightmares for weeks. She's better now, but hospitals still freak her out."

"So why did you bring her?" she asked softly.

"I had to make sure you were okay." He replied. "Today was her first day of daycare but the teacher said she began crying as soon as I left this morning. They couldn't calm her down so they called me." He sighed. "I am going to have to find some one to watch her tomorrow until we get this daycare thing figured out. So are you ready to get out of here?"

"What?" she said, flustered. "Umm, yeah. How did I get here? I mean I'm going to need a ride back to the lab."

"I will give you a ride." He said, standing up slowly, trying not to jostle Chris.

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He drove along the streets of DC, glancing at both his sleeping daughter and his sleeping partner. As soon as they had got into the car, they had both fallen asleep. He headed in the direction of her apartment. There was not way he was taking her back to the Jeffersonian now.

He thought about everything that had happened. First finding out that she was having panic attacks and not telling anyone about it. He had been angry with her when the doctor spoke. Angry that she kept it hidden. She always had to do things herself; she would never accept anyone's help.

And then hearing about the rape. Oh god, the rape. His fingers gripped the steering wheel as he tried to push the image out of his mind. The perpetrator was dead. 'It's a good thing he is.' He thought to himself. 'I would have put a hole in his fucking head.' But they never caught him, only finding him dead three months later.

It must have been agony for her. Knowing that the man who raped and beat her was still out there. She had to suffer through that alone.

'I wasn't there.' He thought. 'I wasn't there to protect her.' He would've caught the bastard, he would've saved her, protected her. A wave of guilt washed over him.

He pulled up to her apartment building and stopped the car. He looked over at the two of them. The two loves of his life. 'All I want to do is protect them.' He thought.

'Why can't I just protect them?'


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Here is the next chapter, it's a little intense so I have added a disclaimer. Thanks to everyone for reviewing and reading this story, I really appreciate it! **

**DISCLAIMER: This chapter is pretty intense and deals with the subject of Brennan's rape. If this makes you uncomfortable in anyway please feel free to bypass this chapter. I got a little emotional writing it and frankly reading it again was a little hard. I have been extremely fortunate that I have never had to deal with a situation like this and I hope that I never will. The courage in women who face something like this and then speak out about it, astounds me. Okay, enough of my emotional rambling, here it is.  
**

She felt weak.

Her wrists were bound by restraints, the hooks hanging off of them leading up to a chain that held her fast against the pipe. Her arms in the air, aching with pain. Her cheek was pressed against the pipe and she could taste rust and metal in her mouth. The room was dark, she could barely see in front of her but she knew she was alone. She kicked her legs frantically, but the movement did nothing to free her.

The door opened and he came in. She could barely make out his face. A small stream of light came in from the hallway and hit the object in his hand. It glinted and she realized it was a knife. She inhaled deeply, she knew what was going to happen, could sense it before it became a reality.

He said nothing, just looked at her as if she was prey, a piece of meat for him to devour. She started kicking her legs again, and as her body did this, the voice in her head told her it was hopeless. He came closer and she tried to kick him. She felt a blinding pain in her leg and realized that he had stabbed her. She cried out loud as he dragged the knife along her leg, causing blood to flow forth like a fountain.

He grinned and moved closer. She tried not to focus on the pain, but there was nothing else. He looked her up and down his smile growing wider as he gazed over her chest and down her body. She let out a string of curses and he backhanded her across the face. She tasted the blood running from her nose in her mouth and she did not see him pull a rag from his back pocket until he had gagged her with it, her loud cries becoming muffled moans.

He dragged the silver knife across her cheek and down to her shirt. He viciously cut open her shirt, letting out a sigh of delight when her breasts came into view. She squirmed and cried, but he paid no attention. He unbuttoned her pants, carving a line into her hip as he did so. She cried out but held back her tears. She didn't want him to see her cry. As he pulled her pants down, she began to thrash harder. He grabbed her leg and pushed his hand into her wound, causing her to scream harder than she had ever done so in her life.

As he unbuttoned his own pants, she knew that what was going to happen was inevitable; there was no way to stop it. She wasn't strong enough. She squeezed her eyes shut and did something she never thought she would do. She prayed for Booth. For him to come and get her. She felt a wave of pain rush over her and she allowed her thoughts of him take her away from this cruel place.

Booth.

Their first date, how nervous he was when he asked her, their first kiss, the day he told her that he loved her.

His eyes, his smile, how he brushed the hair out of her face and brought her food when it was late and comforted her when she was sad.

And then it was over.

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She sat in the dark, the soft light from the windows trickling in. Her head was in her hands and she was willing the tears not to come.

It was the first time she had ever said those words out loud. Saying them felt like her whole self had been ripped open. The looks of pity and concern on Booth and Angelas faces were too much to bear. She hadn't meant to say it, but he had looked at her, pleaded with her and she gave in.

She had kept it hidden, this thing, for two years, buried deep within herself where she never dared to go. And now it felt as if the dam was about to burst.

He had driven her home and despite his protestations, she said she was fine and had practically shut the door in his face. She knew he was trying to be nice, but she couldn't let him see her like this. It was the one thing she wanted more than anything, that he would not see her the way she really was.

Broken.

She was broken and he would try to fix her but she knew that she couldn't be fixed. He would try and fail and he would get hurt again.

Her heart ached, her body was trembling. She could still feel every touch, every movement like she had never left that basement.

She felt weak.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: So here is the next chapter! Thank you so much everyone for the reviews! I am over 100, I can't believe it. Just to let you know I have bumped the rating up to an M! Enjoy!**

**Chapter Fourteen**

He lifted Chris out of the car and walked up to the front of the house and waited. He smiled as he looked down at the sleeping girl. With her wavy auburn hair and hazel eyes she looked so much like Brennan. The door opened to reveal a very sleepy looking Angela.

"Sorry about this." He said, coming into the house.

"It's okay. I completely understand." Angela replied. "Although the two-thirty in the morning thing I could have done without."

"Sorry, I just couldn't take it anymore. I need to talk to her." He said.

"Yes you do." She said. "Come on, I just put some coffee on. I will show you to her bed."

He followed her down a long hallway to a room. Angela opened the door and he went in and placed her on the bed. He stroked her cheek softly and headed back outside with Angela.

"Coffee?" she asked.

"Yes, please." He replied.

She trudged down to the kitchen.

"Hodgins still sleeping?" he asked.

"Yes, he sleeps through everything, I swear." She replied, laughing. "It's a good thing though. After the Gravedigger, he couldn't sleep at all for the longest time."

He took the cup of coffee from her and sat down at the table.

"Is Chris going to be alright in there?" he asked.

"Yes, she will be fine." She said. "Our room is right next door and I also placed a baby monitor in the room in case she wakes up crying and I can't hear her."

He was going to ask why she had a baby monitor and then he remembered.

"So what are you going to say to her?" she asked, changing the subject swiftly.

"I don't know." He replied. "Angela, I… what do I say to her? I have so many questions I don't know where to start. Half of me wants to take her into my arms and make it all better, the other half wants me to yell at her until I am blue in the face. I understand the way she is now, she has been through a traumatic experience, obviously she is going to be messed up. But why did she leave me in the first place? I need to know."

"You need to remember that Brennan was screwed up before all of this happened." Angela said. "Yes, she hid it well, but she was still screwed up."

"Her parents." He stated.

"That's part of it, I am sure there is more. But remember she was doing just fine with her little screw and run relationships and then you came along. And you offered something that was more than that." Angela said.

"Ugghh, I just…" he trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"Have you ever thought that she is trying to protect you from all of this? From herself and all of her problems?" Angela asked. "You, Booth are a fixer. You have the compulsive need to fix things, but what you need to realize is that some things can't be fixed. And if she can't be fixed, are you okay with that?"

"I don't know." He said honestly.

"You need to deal with that." Angela replied. "And all the other stuff you have going on. Too bad Gordon Gordon's not around."

He chuckled. "Yeah, maybe he would have made me build a pool or something this time."

"What do you want Booth?" Angela asked. "Do you want to get back together with Bren?"

"That's the other thing I don't know." He admitted. "She hurt me Ange and worse than that she hurt Chris. Chris is my life and I don't know if I could let her be hurt. Chris is old enough now that something like this would really affect her. I mean what happens if we are together and then Temperance decides to bolt again?"

Angela just shrugged. "I don't have an answer to that Booth."

"Yeah." He replied.

"Go." Angela said, reaching over and laying her hand on top of his. "Talk to her about everything. Ask her why she left you. Sort it out between you."

He nodded and got up from the table.

"Thanks Angela." He said sincerely.

"Your welcome." She said, standing and drawing him into a hug. "That's what friends are for."

He headed out and got into his car. His brain was swirling with questions and thoughts.

'I need her to answer my questions.' He thought to himself. 'I need to know why.'

He drove off in the direction of the Jeffersonian.

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She laid out the bones in front of her. She was the only one there not counting the one security guard who she knew was sleeping in his office down the hall. It was three o'clock in the morning so she knew that she would be able to work without distraction.

It had been almost a week since she went to the hospital and she felt like she hadn't been on steady ground since. She could barely focus during the day what with Booth staring at her and Angela trying to get her to talk. Zach and Hodgins were completely confused by the whole situation. So she started completing most of her work at night.

The car rides to and from the crime scene or after an interrogation were the worst. There was a constant stream of tension in the air. It also didn't help that Chris was in the lab most of the week. She had avoided her most of the time, locking herself in her office when she wasn't working with Booth.

She knew they wouldn't be able to work together for much longer. It wasn't working. There was just too much between them.

She thought about the email she received earlier. It was from an associate of hers, Dr. Flendman. A mass grave had been discovered outside Cairo and he had emailed asking whether she would consider heading it up. She was going to reply no, but the current situation made her think and she had emailed back telling him that she would think about it. She had been at the Jeffersonian for eight years, maybe it was time for a change.

She looked at the bones in front of her and shook her head. She couldn't even concentrate when he wasn't there. Their situation was affecting her job and she wouldn't allow it. She stared at the bones again, looking for cause of death when she heard a voice behind her.

"Hi Bones." He said, making his way up the stairs.

"What are you doing here?" she replied, not turning around.

"We need to talk." He said.

"It's three o'clock in the morning. And I am busy." She said, examining the bones for cut marks.

"Temperance." He said, his voice low and pleading.

She turned around and placed her hands on her hips. "What?" she said angrily.

"We need to talk." He repeated.

"There is nothing to talk about." She replied, her voice getting louder.

"Nothing to talk about?" he said incredulously. "We have everything to talk about." He moved one step closer to her.

She knew he was trying to intimidate her by moving into her personal space, but she didn't flinch. She just moved closer and stared at him in the eyes.

"Leave me alone." She said pointedly.

"Why did you leave me?" he asked.

"Do you not understand, I don't want to talk." She said her voice rising in volume.

"I need to know." He shouted, his fists clenched. "I need to know why."

She just stared at him, refusing to answer. She was not doing this.

He stared back, the tension between them crackling in the air. They were only an inch away from each other, trying to stare each other down. In the days before they dated, one of them would concede and then the argument would be over. After they dated, something else entirely would happen. But now, they were stuck in this limbo, neither of them wanting to back down but neither of them knowing what to do.

She didn't know who made the first move. All she knew was that his lips were assaulting hers and she was pushing back with a force that surprised her. His hands wrapped around her waist and he pulled her closer, bumping against the table and causing the bones to rattle.

She reached for him, threading her fingers through his hair as he pulled away from her lips and started kissing the side of her neck. She felt waves of pleasure go through her, reaching the very bottom of her toes. She pressed against him and felt his penis through his pants and she let out a moan.

She pushed him away from her and furiously unbuttoned his shirt as he did the same to hers. There was no soft kisses of tenderness or words of love and they barely looked at each other as they removed the rest of their clothes.

He had her backed up against the exam table and the cold metal caused her to shiver with delight. He nipped at her breast and she held back a scream. She was soaking wet, she had been waiting four years for this, for him. They lowered themselves to the ground and she parted her legs, ready for him.

When he thrust into her, she forgot everything, the pain, the anguish, everything between them was gone. She rolled her head back as he pounded in to her, their grunts and moans echoing off of the walls.

And as they climaxed, they both had the same thought.

'What have I done?'


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Here is the next chapter! It is a little short, but is needed for the next part of the story. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone reading this story! With 113 reviews and 80 alerts, I am overwhelmed by the number of people who are enjoying this. So thank you very, very much from the bottom of my heart!**

She sat in her chair, her hands gripping the handles tightly. She stared straight ahead at her computer, the blinking cursor staring back at her. She knew in a few minutes, the lab would start to get busy again. Angela would breeze in, full of questions and sunshine. Hodgins would be right behind her, ready to share his view of this morning's news. Zach would come in, waving before he set off to work. The lab would fill with technicians and scientists, none of them knowing that three hours ago she slept with Seeley Booth.

It was nothing like the first or subsequent times that they had slept together. This was rough and passionate as if they were both trying to release some of the pain they were dealing with. It didn't work. All they were left with was more.

When it was over, they dressed and barely glancing at each other, they moved apart. She went to her office while he headed out the doors. She had wanted it, wanted him but now that it was all over she felt a pain in her heart that would not go away.

She leaned forward and leaned her elbows on the desk, putting her head in her hands. She slept with Booth and it brought back a wave of emotions in her that she had tried to force away for so many years.

She was tired. Tired of the pain and the hurt. She was tired of having so many feelings, crushing her like a insect under a stone. Her heart felt heavy, and for once should felt like work would not be enough to fight the pain.

She needed to make this go away. It would all be fine if it just went away. But it wouldn't. And she would continue to be tortured by the thought of Booth every day for the rest of her life.

Suddenly it was too much. She couldn't bear this weight all alone. She laid her head down on the desk and did something that she hadn't done in a long time.

She let herself cry.

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He leaned back against the couch and sighed. He had been staring at the wall for the last two hours trying to figure out what happened. He knew soon that he would have to go into the lab and face her, face them all and he didn't think he could deal with that.

He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

He slept with her.

It was the stupidest thing he had ever done. He had gone over there to talk, to find out why she left him. He needed to put all of this behind him and move on. But instead, he found himself having sex with her. Pointless, baseless sex.

Even though he tried, he couldn't let go of the feelings swirling around. He should have stood his ground, got the answers that he needed. He knew now that this would make her run even faster, he would never get to know, they would never be together.

He leaned forward and put his head in his hands. Angela was right. All this time he thought that it was her problems that were causing them trouble, but he had them too. He wanted to fix her, he knew that. She was in pain and he couldn't stand to see her that way. But he didn't know how to help, especially since he was the cause of some of that pain. And he truly didn't know what he wanted other than to be happy again. Once she had made him happy but now….

He shouldn't of come back. He should have told Cullen that there was no way that he could be the liaison to the Jeffersonian again.

He felt tired, more tired than he had ever been in his life. His heart ached with pain and he did something that he found he was doing more often than not recently.

He let himself cry.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Here is the next chapter, it is really short, but the next one will be longer I promise! Oh and in case anyone is interested, I just started a new fic called Rarely Pure and Never Simple.**

**Chapter Sixteen: The Calm Before the Storm**

He trudged into the Jeffersonian the next morning, looking around for his daughter. He planned to pick her up and leave. At this point, he couldn't care less about the case, it was Friday and he didn't want to be there. Cullen could fire him if he wanted to. He headed up the steps and noticed that none of the squints were around. He was about to go looking when she walked out of her office towards him. She was staring at a piece of paper, he tried to move so she wouldn't see him but it was too late.

"Hi." He said awkwardly. They were both frozen to their spots.

"Hi." She replied coldly. "We won't have any information on the case until Monday."

"Right." He said, startled by the tone in her voice.

"However I will be conducting a staff meeting in approximately one hour and as the FBI liaison you are required to attend." She stated.

"Right." He replied. "Well I have Chris, is that going to be okay?"

She nodded and turned back towards her office.

He stood, unable to move, unsure of what had happened. He had expected awkwardness yes, and definitely denial but not this coldness she was giving him. She was as much a part of that mistake as he was and he wasn't going to take the blame. He went to take a step towards her office, when he heard Chris.

"Daddy!" she said running towards him. He managed to get his card swiped this time as she ran up the stairs and into his arms. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too princess!" he said, hugging her tightly. She always made him feel better. "Did you have fun at Jack and Angela's?"

"Yep!" Chris replied. "Jack showed me his shiny cars and I got to honk all the horns and Angela let me stay up late and we watched The Little Mermaid AND Cinderella. And I got to sleep in a big princess bed and when I woke up, we had pancakes!"

"Wow! That sounds like fun!" he said.

"It was." Chris said. "At first I was sad cuz you weren't there but then Angela sang me a song and it made me feel better. And she taught me the words!"

"Really?" he replied, looking over at Angela and smiling.

"Yeah!" Chris said. She started to sing.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,

You make me happy,

When skies are grey,

You'll never know dear,

How much I love you,

Please don't take my sunshine away.'

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She heard singing and she looked out the window of her office. She saw Chris singing and a vivid memory bubbled to the surface.

'Mommy…sing me the sunshine song.' A five year old Tempe said.

'The sunshine song?' Christine Brennan asked.

'Yes, please.' Tempe replied.

'Okay.' Christine said, pulling Tempe into her lap.

'The other night dear, as I lay sleeping

I dreamed I held you in my arms.

But when I awoke, dear I was mistaken

So I hung my head and cried.'

'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,

You make me happy,

When skies are grey,

You'll never know dear,

How much I love you,

Please don't take my sunshine away.'

As she watched out the window at her daughter singing the song, she felt an ache in her heart. She should have been the one to teach her that song, not Angela.

'You're not her mother.' She said to herself. She knew she wasn't. But for that one brief moment, she wanted to be.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Here is the next chapter, I hope you like it. We are getting near the end, probably about seven or eight chapters to go! I also wrote a songfic entitled Both Sides Now that gives a little more insight into Brennan and when she got pregnant. **

They were all assembled in conference room two, waiting for Brennan to arrive.

"What do you think this is about?" Zach asked.

"Beats me." Hodgins replied. "We haven't had a staff meeting in forever."

"Brennan believes that we communicate well enough with each other that we don't need staff meetings." Angela explained to Booth.

He nodded and looked over at Chris, who was sitting on the floor, reading one of her books.

She walked in, clutching her notepad tightly. She knew this was going to go badly, just how badly, she didn't know.

"So." She said, sitting down. "I called this staff meeting today because I need to make an announcement. But before that, does anyone have any business?"

"I think Perkins from bio has been stealing my lunch from the fridge." Hodgins said.

"Oh no, not this again." Angela groaned.

"Hodgins does have evidence." Zach pointed out.

"Babe," Angela said. "You are a millionaire. Why do you care if he takes your sandwich? Buy another sandwich. Buy a sandwich factory."

"That's not the point." Hodgins said. "The point is…"

"Okay." She interrupted. "Anything else?"

They all shook their heads no.

"Well I have news. I have been offered and have accepted a job heading up a mass grave excavation in Cairo. I will be taking a three month sabbatical." She paused and waited for her news to sink in. 'It's for the best.' She thought to herself.

"Wait…what?" Booth said, looking at her incredulously.

"It's a good opportunity…" she started.

"That's bullshit!" he interrupted. "And you know it."

"Bren, how could you…" Angela trailed off.

She noticed that Chris had stopped reading her book and had moved towards Booth. She looked into the eyes of her four friends and felt the urge to be on the plane already, far from this.

"Regardless of what you think, my mind has been made up. While I believe this team does not need anyone is a supervisory position, I am required to appoint one anyway. So come June 19th, Dr. Hodgins will be the head of forensics."

"That's a week from now." Booth stated.

"I'm the head?" Hodgins asked. "Does this make me 'the man.'? Oh god it does. I'm 'the man.'"

"You're running." He said quietly.

She didn't look at him, instead she stood up and grabbed her notebook. "I guess that's all." She said, turning and leaving the room.

"I thought you talked." Angela said to Booth.

"Yeah well it didn't turn out that way." He replied. "Let me go talk to her."

"No." Angela said. "It's my turn. I am not letting her do this. I have sat back and watched her push each one of us farther away. Well not anymore." She got up and stalked out of the room. She stormed down the hallway and went into Brennan's office.

"What do you think you are doing?" Angela yelled.

"Angela, stop yelling." She replied.

"No." Angela said. "Not until you fix this." She stopped to talk a breath. "You can't leave Bren." Angela said in a quieter voice.

"Angela…" she started.

"You are Chris's mother." Angela said. "You are. I know you are pretending like you aren't but you know you are. The moment you got pregnant you were her mother. You don't get a choice in the matter, don't you see? It doesn't matter whether you go to Egypt or Africa or anywhere else. You are still her mother."

"Angela I don't want to talk about this." She said.

"I was there." Angela said. "In the hospital, I was there."

"What are you talking about?" she said.

"You told us to leave but I came back thinking that you needed a friend. I walked into your hospital room and you weren't there. I started to panic but then a nurse came in and said you were in the nursery. I went there and I saw you holding Chris. Looking at her with this gaze on your face that I have never seen before. It was a look of pure love. She is your daughter Brennan and I am tired of watching you throw that away. Do you know how much I want that? How much Jack and I want that? And here's you. You have her, she is standing right in front of you and you are pushing her away."

"She has Booth and he is a good dad but she needs a mom and you know it. How can you do this to her? Don't you remember what it felt like when your mother left? Chris is going to grow up wondering what she did wrong, why her mother didn't want her."

"Get out Angela." She said, forcefully.

"No." Angela replied. "I'm not leaving."

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They heard shouting and immediately Booth and Hodgins were up on their feet.

"Zach, can you look after Chris?" Booth asked. "I think Hodgins and I need to deal with this."

"Sure Agent Booth." Zach said.

He followed Hodgins to Brennan's office door where he heard Angela yelling at her.

He listened and the next words were seared into his memory forever.

"I went there and I saw you holding Chris. Looking at her with this gaze on your face that I have never seen before. It was a look of pure love."

He felt his chest constrict. She did see Chris. All this time, he thought she was so cold, so unfeeling that she wouldn't even hold her own daughter after she gave birth. But she did hold her. Angela was right. She was a mother. He should have stayed and shown that to her but like a wounded animal he left. It wasn't her fault. It was their fault, the both of them together. When he finally asked her out, he didn't think it would be like this. He thought that they were destined to be happy forever, everyone had said they belonged together. But they had both screwed it up.

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"I don't know why Booth doesn't hate you." Angela said. "I honestly don't. You hurt him badly. He had to raise that little girl all by himself for four years, can you imagine how terrified he must have felt? Can imagine him having to watch her grow, her looking so much like you?"

"Angela." She said, tears brimming in her eyes. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I know you don't but you have to." Angela said. "Don't you see? This is your chance for a family. He will take you back, you know that. Whatever happened in the last four years you can work out. All of it, Bren and I mean ALL of it. "

"Seeley Booth is a good man, one of the best. But one of these days when you decide what you really want, he isn't going to be there."

Angela turned and walked out of the office.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: First of all I want to thank everyone who is reading this and reviewing this, I am overwhelmed! For everyone who reviewed for the last chapter, I didn't receive my alerts so I apologize if you didn't get a note from me! Anyway, I hope you like it.**

**Chapter Eighteen**

She stood frozen, watching her friend walk out of the office. Her door was wide open and her eyes darted to the left and there he was. 'He heard everything.' She thought to herself. 'Oh god.' He took a step towards her but she still couldn't move. For once, she couldn't read the expression on his face, couldn't tell how he felt.

Their eyes were locked on each other, neither could look away. He kept moving forward as if propelled by an invisible force. She on the other hand couldn't move. 'Move dammit!' she told her body, but it refused to listen.

He took another step and a tear rolled down his cheek. He didn't notice it, didn't stop to brush it away, just kept moving forward towards her and then her was in front of her. Hands stretched out, reaching for her.

They stood and stared at each other and then Booth opened his mouth and began to talk.

"Angela's right." He said simply. When she didn't respond, he continued. "I was mad at you. I thought I hated you. You left me. I thought it was going to be us forever, Temperance. But you pushed me away and it hurt."

She shook her head slightly as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I don't hate you." he continued. "I love you. For the longest time I tried to deny it, forget you ever existed. Forget that what we shared was the most important relationship of my life. But I couldn't." He stopped to take a breath.

She was still frozen in her spot. Tear after tear rolled down her face. He told her he loved her. He was making this so hard.

"I love you." he repeated. "And I want you…I want you to…I want you to be with me and Chris." He choked out.

"I know we have problems. You AND me. But I think we can do this, we can be together because when I am with you I know that I can do anything. And I wanted to say I'm sorry. I didn't know you held Chris, I thought you hadn't seen her. I thought you didn't want her, didn't want us. I left before we could work it out. I should have given us a chance."

"But we have that chance right now. Now is when we get to decide whether want this or not. "

Her heart was pounding and her lips were trembling. She couldn't, how could she? Why couldn't he see? He was making this too hard.

"Please." He pleaded. "Please don't leave." He took a half-step towards her and reached out and brushed a hair away from her face. "Please." He repeated holding his hand against her cheek.

His eyes were dark and intense, and brimming with tears. She opened her mouth but no words came out. There was nothing to describe what she was feeling. She shifted her glance and saw Chris over Booth's shoulder. She looked at her, really looked at her for the first time since she held her in the hospital. She inhaled deeply and tears began to flow down her cheeks.

She was her daughter.

HER daughter.

Standing there, not knowing what was going on. She didn't ever want Chris to think that it was her fault that she left. She never wanted her to know what that felt like.

She looked back at Booth. How could he love her? She left him, abandoned them, she was not a good person. But when she looked into his eyes, all she saw was love.

She was scared. Scared to make this choice. She couldn't leave but couldn't stay either. She was confused and he wasn't helping. She remembered when he told her he loved her for the first time.

'_That's not logical.' She said._

'_Sometimes it's not about being logical.' He replied. 'Sometimes its about listening to your heart. Really listening.'_

'_How do I do that?' she said shakily._

_He reached over, lifted her hand and placed it on her chest. _

'_Now shut your eyes and just listen to you heart. It will tell you what to do.'_

She closed her eyes and lifted her hand to her heart, tears running down her face and neck.

And she listened.

She opened her eyes and leaned forward until she was in his arms, her head against his shoulder, her body tight against him.

"Okay." She said. "Okay."


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in this chapter, I was away! This is the first chapter of a few that will deal with 'the talk.' I hope you like it! Thank you to everyone who reviewed, I am annoyed that Alerts aren't working but oh well!**

**Chapter Nineteen**

They stood there for what felt like forever. Holding on to each other so tightly. He could hear her erratic breathing and felt his own chest tighten at the thought of her having another panic attack. Lifting his head and looking at her office, he decided to take action. He slowly moved them back, one step at a time in her office door and over to the couch. They finally broke apart as she collapsed on the couch. He went over to shut the door and came back and sat down next to her.

"Booth." She said, her voice barely a whisper.

He just shook his head and pulled her towards him, breathing in the scent of her shampoo as he nestled his head in her hair. He could feel her trembling and was going to ask if she was okay when he realized it was him trembling, not her. He sat there, listening to her breathing become even and shallow. When she had fallen asleep, he gently laid her down on the couch and made his way to platform where Angela was standing.

"Is she okay?" Angela asked, brushing the tears away from her face. "I didn't mean to yell, well I did but…"

"She's fine." He replied. "Not fine actually, but listen I'm going to take her to her apartment. Can you look after Chris for the rest of the day? We're going to talk."

"Good." She nodded.

"Where are they?" he asked.

"Zach's office." She replied, walking towards it. He followed her in an saw Chris peering intently at something on the computer screen, Zach and Hodgins around her.

"That's a bug?" she asked.

"Yep. It's just magnified." Hodgins replied.

"Cool!" she said loudly.

"Hey Princess!" he said, moving towards her.

"Daddy!" Chris replied, running over to him. "Can we play now?"

"Actually Chris, Tempe and I have to talk for a while." He said. "Can you be a good girl and play with Angela and Jack and Zach?"

"No!" Chris said, stomping her feet. "I want to play with you."

"Listen," he said, kneeling down in front of her. "Why don't you play with Angela and Jack and then I will come and pick you up for dinner. You will have to put your dress on though."

"My party dress?" Chris said, getting excited.

"Yep, you can wear that." He said "After all a father-daughter dinner is very important. And you know what?"

"What?" Chris asked.

"Angela is the best at doing hair." He said.

"Really?" Chris replied excitedly. She turned to Angela. "My daddy does my hair but he's not the best because he's a boy. He's pretty good though."

"Well I would love to do your hair." Angela said.

"Does that sound good?" he asked.

Chris wrapped her arms around his neck. "Okay daddy. But I would rather play with you." she said in a loud whisper. "Don't tell though."

"Okay." He whispered back as he put his finger to his lips.

Chris ran back to the computer. "Show me another." She demanded of Zach.

He moved out of the room with Angela close behind.

"Here are my apartment keys." He said, pulling the keys off his key ring. "She will show you where her party dress is. She'll probably want her Cinderella shoes and they are in her shoe cubbyhole in her room or if not, try the front hall closet."

Angela chuckled. "I never in a million years thought I would be talking to you about Cinderella shoes."

"Well, some things change." He replied.

"And some things stay exactly the same." She said, smiling at him warmly. "You're a good dad and a good person."

"I get by." He said. "I am going to go get Temperance. We will be at her apartment if you need anything."

Angela nodded and squeezed his arm quickly. He gave a half-hearted smile in response and headed towards Brennan's office. He got there and saw her sitting up on the couch.

"Hey." He said, moving over and sitting next to her on the couch.

"Sorry I fell asleep." She replied softly.

"It's okay." He said. "Listen I though we could head over to your apartment to talk. We shouldn't start this here."

She nodded and rose silently from the couch. She grabbed her things and followed him out the door. They didn't speak a word until they were at her apartment door. She opened it and he hesitated, remembering everything, both good and bad that happened there.

"Come in." she said quietly and he followed her in and shut the door.

They immediately headed over to the couch, the place where most of their arguments, conversations and debates took place. They stared at each other for a few moments until Booth spoke.

"We should start from the beginning." He said.

"Where's the beginning?" she replied. "When I got pregnant? When we started dating? When my parents left me?" As soon as the words left her, she knew that the latter choice was really were it all began.

"Maybe we should decide who wants to talk first." He said.

"I will." She replied, her voice getting steadier. She could do this. "It starts with me."

He nodded and waited for her to speak.

"When my parents disappeared." She began. "I was lost, unfocused, I didn't know what to do or how to be myself anymore. I was no longer Temperance Brennan, daughter of Matthew and Christine, uncool sister of Russ, I was just Temperance Brennan, foster kid. I spent almost two years being shuffled through those foster homes until my grandfather got be out. But even then it wasn't the same. There was no mom and dad, Russ had left, I was all by myself.

But I learned to deal with it. I kept to myself, got good grades and everyone left me alone. It takes a lot of practice to learn to be alone, but once you've mastered it, you don't want to let it go."

She stood up and headed to the kitchen. She opened the fridge, grabbed two bottles of water and brought them back to the couch. She cracked hers open and continued.

"I went to college and discovered forensic anthropology. Suddenly I had a focus, a purpose again. For the first time since my parents left, I found something that I loved, something that made me happy.

I started working at the Jeffersonian and then we met. So many times in the last four years I wondered whether it would've been better if we hadn't met at all. But I knew that wasn't true. You were my partner and my best friend."

Tears began welling up in her eyes.

"And then.." she said, her voice wavering. "And then we started dating. When I told you I loved you, I hadn't said that since…" she trailed off.

She brushed the tears away from her face and stood up.

"I just need a minute." She said, moving towards the bedroom. She shut the door behind her and leaned up against it. Glancing over at the bed, she was tempted to forget this and crawl under the covers. Hide away from this ache in her heart. A tear slipped down her cheek and then another. She didn't want to talk about this, any of it.

She wanted to be with him, she knew that now, had always known it, but the chasm between them felt too wide. There were too many issues. She took a deep breath, wiped the tears from her face, opened the door and walked back into the living room.

"Temperance." He started, as he saw the tears on her face.

"No wait, I'm not done." She said, holding up her hand. She took a deep breath and exhaled.

"We started dating and it was perfect for a while. But the closer we got, the more unfocused I felt. I was giving myself over to you and that scared me. Sully once said that my work wasn't important enough to be my whole life, but he was wrong. It is my whole life, without it I don't know who I am.

And then I got pregnant. I tried not to think about it, avoided it until I had to tell you. When I told you, you gave me this look and in it I saw everything you wanted us to be. The marriage, the kids, the house and the fence. I knew I couldn't give you that, even now I don't think I can give you that.

I didn't want to disappoint you. I felt like you already had this elevated idea about our relationship, that this would only make it work."

She took another deep breath.

"I need to work." She said shakily. "I don't know how to be me without it. I don't know how to be with you and do it at the same time. After we found my mother's remains, you said to me that you knew who I was. And yet when I was with you, I felt like I needed to be someone else. A wife, a mother, someone who isn't tied to her work. What kind of mother loves dead people more than her daughter?"

Fresh tears that had been brimming now overflowed as she knelt where she stood, putting her head in her hands.

He was up from the couch in a flash, sitting next to her and pulling her into his arms. There were tears in his eyes and he watched her control her breathing and calm down. His heart felt as if someone had plunged a knife into it. He didn't know that this was how she felt and what was worse was that he was the one who made her feel this way.

"Every day I was pregnant" she began again. "it got worse. You were staring at me and Angela was trying to talk to me and I felt myself growing more attached to this….thing that I didn't want. Do you know what it feels like to carry a baby, the baby of your best friend around for nine months under the judging eyes of your friends? How it feels when all you want to be is alone, but you can't because your mistake, your unborn child is there with you all the time?

Every movement, every kick reminded me of you. When I heard the heartbeat…" she paused. "The heartbeat…" she trailed off, unable to finish her thought. She started again.

"I knew that I was making the right decision. She didn't need someone like me. She would have been disappointed, just like you."

"Disappointed?" he said finally finding his voice. "You could never disappoint me Temperance."

"I'm not what you want me to be. I can't be that when I didn't even want it." She replied.

He pulled her closer, his hand rubbing her arm, the other firmly clasped in hers.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I didn't mean to pressure you. I just wanted us to be happy."

"I don't know how to be that." She replied. "I don't have them anymore."

He tilted her head so that her face was inches from his own.

"You have me." He said. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, pulling her into a slow, tender kiss. He pulled apart and rested his forehead against hers, reaching up and brushing away the tears on her face with his thumb.

"You have me." He repeated.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I can't believe I am on Chapter 20! Crazy! Thanks to everyone for their reviews and for reading this, I really appreciate it. Just wanted to let you know that I have included a preview for the next chapter at the bottom of this one. I don't normally do that, but I had this section written and I thought I would share it. Enjoy!**

**Chapter Twenty**

"Can I talk now?" he asked once they had resettled themselves on the couch.

"Please." She replied.

"You are right about what you said regarding the marriage and the kids and everything. I just thought that was the way it was supposed to be. My parents are like that, I thought we could be too. I wasn't thinking about you and I am sorry." He started. "I just wanted to be happy and I thought that's what happy meant. But Temperance, happy is with you in any situation. Even when you drive me crazy and I get mad I am happy. Because I am in love with you. Since the day we met actually."

"I didn't know that you felt like I was pulling you away from your work. Frankly I thought nothing could do that." He gave a soft smile. "If you be with me and Chris, become a girlfriend and a mother that doesn't mean that you are less of a forensic anthropologist. Temperance, you are unlike anyone else I have ever known. You dedicated to your work but its more than that. You see every face, you connect with every case. Your work IS who you are, I am the last person to deny that, I won't tell you any different. It's one of the things I love about you the most. Your passion for finding the truth and giving victims justice.

But you can love more than one thing at a time, that's the brilliance of the human heart. I know that there is room in your heart for your parents and Russ and the squints, your work, Chris AND me."

He reached out and stroked her cheek.

"You were wrong about me being disappointed in you. I could never be that. You…you make the worst parts of my life better. I just wanted to do the same for you." he explained.

"You can't fix me Booth." She said sadly.

"I know." He replied solemnly.

"Seeley, these last four years…." She trailed off, not fully ready to talk about what happened.

"Temperance, these last four years have been the hardest of my life." He said honestly. "When you got pregnant, I thought that it was me. You didn't want to be with me because I wasn't good enough. And then when you handed me Chris…" He stood up abruptly. "I have to go."

"What?" she said in shock.

"I will be back in about fifteen minutes I just have to get something from my apartment." He paced back and forth trying to think of a way to explain himself. "I want to talk about Chris but I need things to help me."

He watched her confused face.

"Like visual aids?" she finally said.

"Yes." He replied. "Visual aids. Fifteen minutes okay?"

She nodded and he grabbed his keys and headed out the door.

She leaned back against the couch and shut her eyes. She felt as if the burden she was carrying was lighter. Definitely still there, but lighter. He loved her, even as she explained how she chose her work over him. She didn't understand why he was still here, putting up with her. She had deep pain, there were parts of her that were broken and would never be fixed and yet he was beside her, wanting to be with her despite this.

He was right, she did have him. She was so scared that one day she wouldn't have him that she had pushed him away. But she knew her and Booth were like magnets, always drawn together even when being forced apart.

She thought about the visual aids he was bringing. Obviously it was going to be pictures of Chris. She knew this was going to be hard, watching him relive the last four years he spent with Chris that she missed out on.

The idea of being of mother scared her. She could feel her fear within the depths of herself. She had meant it when she said she thought she would disappoint them. Booth was such a fantastic dad, she would hardly compare. But she knew one thing. She was still going to try.

The rattle of the doorknob pulled her out of her reverie and she looked over to see Booth entering her apartment, carrying a bag in his hands. He shut the door and headed over to the couch. He reached into the bag and pulled out one of several photo albums.

"So…" he started, flipping to the first page.

She looked down and saw a picture of two hands cradling Chris, who looked to be about three or four days old.

"Angela took it." He said. "Most of the beginning ones are Angela, at least until we moved."

She reached out and fingered the picture.

"Chris was…" he stopped and cleared his throat. "She was beautiful. And I had no idea what I was doing. I mean, I took care of Parker but that was only part time and not right when he was born. Angela helped a lot, so that was good." He chuckled softly. "I soon came to learn that she was you."

"What?" she asked.

"She was you. Every time I looked at her, I saw you. Even her moods were like yours. I remember one night, she was sleeping in the bed next to me, she must have been about two weeks old at this point. I woke up and looked over at her, and there she was, staring at me with these piercing hazel eyes, just like yours.

I was mad, Temperance. On the days when she wouldn't stop crying or I couldn't get my work done, I got mad at you because it was you that put me in this situation."

"I'm sorry." She said softly.

"But on other days I felt sad that you couldn't be there to see her." He continued as he flipped the pages of the album. "Her first smile, the first time she sat up, all these moments that I wanted you to be there for."

He saw the pained look on her face and reached over and squeezed her hand.

"I'm sorry, I'm upsetting you." he said. "I just want to be honest and explain."

"It's okay." She replied. "I understand."

"When Rebecca told me about moving to California, I left Chris with Angela and stood outside your apartment building for three hours, trying to make myself go in. I wanted to pull you into my arms and tell you we could work this out, but I wouldn't be able to take it if you rejected me again. So I turned and walked away.

I thought moving would help me forget you. I got rid of everything, my furniture, the pictures of us, everything that reminded me of you. I thought I could start fresh in California. But I forgot that there was one thing that would constantly remind me of you. And that was Chris. The older she got, the more she looked like you, sometimes acted like you and it hurt me. I felt like someone was pouring salt in my wound and rubbing it around.

There were times when I would get Rebecca to watch Chris and I would just drive, trying to get my thoughts away from you. It never worked though."

"It never worked for me either." She said softly.

He stopped flipping the pages of the album and leaned towards her, pressing the softest kiss on her lips. She sighed and leaned against him.

"I was okay after a while." He said. "Not okay really, but I started building a life in California. I lived in a place near Rebecca and Drew which meant that I got to see Parker a lot. Rebecca helped with Chris a lot too. But I never forgot about you and what we had."

Tears began to slip down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry." She said. "I ruined everything."

He moved the album aside and pulled her close. "No you didn't. I promise." He said.

"Can we…it's not that I don't want to continue I just need a break." She said.

He glanced at the clock and realized that he probably would have to go soon anyway to pick up Chris.

"Yeah." He replied. "I have to go get Chris, I promised her dinner."

She nodded. "I think I am going to lie down for a while."

"Okay." He said. He looked down at the photo album next to him. "So why don't we call it a night?"

She nodded again, remaining silent.

He placed the photo album on the table, leaving the bag with the others resting against one of the table legs.

"If you want, I can leave these with you. It may seem like a lot of pictures, but there are many that are the same. I just have a habit of taking a lot of pictures." He knew he was rambling now.

"Okay." She said, her voice still barely above a whisper.

"Okay." He said. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead. "We can do this Temperance, I know we can."

She nodded and watched as he moved across the room and started to head out the door. He turned and their eyes connected and in that moment she knew he was right. They could do this.

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**PREVIEW FOR CHAPTER 21**

She held the picture tightly in her hand, trying to calm herself down. She looked into the eyes of her smiling daughter and a tear slipped down her cheek. She never wanted her but she loved her, she knew that much. She just didn't know what to do.

She reached over for the phone and dialled a number, hoping the person would pick up. She had burned this bridge too, and wouldn't be surprised if she was never spoken too again. She desperately wanted the easy conversation that used to exist between them to come back, she craved their old relationship. She needed help and hoped that it would be given.

The phone rang several times and then was picked up.

"Hello Angela?"


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thank you to everyone for the reviews! I really appreciate it! Here is the next chapter. I would like to dedicate it to Bellabun, she not only helped me with this chapter but is a fantastic and loyal reviewer that makes me smile with her comments!**

**I would like to recommend a song to listen to while reading this chapter. It's called You by Fisher and it was the song playing when Sully sailed away at the end of Boneless Bride in the River. The lyrics reminded me a lot of Brennan and Chris. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**Chapter Twenty One**

She was restless, unable to sleep, her mind unable to stop processing all of the thoughts and ideas that were flowing through her head. She turned and looked at the clock. 11:30 pm. She had been in bed for six hours. 'I guess sleep is out of the question.' She thought to herself.

Pulling the covers back, she got out of bed and trudged out of her bedroom. She headed to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea but found herself stopped in her living room, her eyes drawn to the open photo album on the table. She moved towards it and sat on the couch, pulling the album into her hands. She flipped to the first page and stared down at the picture of a sleeping Chris. She had tufts of dark black hair sticking up everywhere. She was tiny, so small that she looked like she could break into a million pieces.

Flipping to the next picture, she saw a smiling Booth holding Chris in his arms. There was one of Chris in a mini lab jacket, and several of her with Hodgins and Zach, each holding her as if she was made of glass. There were plenty of Chris and Angela. Angela holding her, helping her bathe for the first time, rocking her in the rocking chair. She felt a twinge of pain at the thought of Angela getting to do all of those things with her daughter.

'Like the sunshine song.' She thought to herself.

That was the most painful, the time before he left, when Angela, Hodgins and Zach would leave the lab and she knew that they would be over there, seeing her. And she would be in the lab by herself.

She continued through the album, looking at pictures of Chris eating, sleeping and smiling.

She immediately reached for the next one and opened it up. Chris was older in this one and there were many shots of her crawling and walking.

She felt a pain in her chest as she saw pictures of Parker hugging Chris, helping her blow out the candles on Chris's birthday cake. She laughed softly as she saw Chris was covered in cake and looking quite proud of the fact.

She missed Parker. In the months when she and Booth were dating, she and Parker had formed a bond. He was inquisitive and bright, always asking questions.

She flipped the page and saw a picture of the three of them smiling. She felt as if her heart was being split into two and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She had missed this, all of this. She knew it was her fault but she thought she had been making the right decision.

Flipping through the album and then the next one and the next one, she saw Chris grow up in front of her eyes.

Looking down at a picture of Chris on her tricycle, she closed her eyes and pictured it. The sun shining brightly in the sky, a soft breeze in the air. Chris pedaling down the sidewalk with pigtails in her hair and bright blue streamers on her bike and a basket in front for her dolls of course. Booth following close behind her and Parker riding his bike in circles, waiting for them to catch up.

She wanted to be there too, walking beside Booth, his hand in hers, watching their daughter pedal furiously on her bike.

There was a splat as a tear fell onto the picture and then another. She quickly flipped the page in order to find something less painful, but it didn't help. All of the pictures were mocking her, criticizing her decision.

She snapped the album shut and as she did, a picture fell out. It was a picture of Chris giving Parker a hug. Her hands were wrapped around his waist and you could tell she was squeezing him as hard as she could.

She stood up and went into her office, rifling through her drawers until she found what she was looking for. She brought it out to the living room, and sitting back on the couch, she held it up against the other picture.

It was a picture of her and Russ when she was little. They were at the beach and her mother had snapped their picture. She was hugging Russ, her arms around him in the exact same position as Chris's. They looked almost identical, her and Chris, both giving wide smiles for the camera.

She stared at both pictures, she wasn't sure for how long. Her hands began to tremble and tear after tear came down as she looked, really looked at what she had given up. She took a deep breath and tried to exhale but couldn't.

'Breathe.' She told herself.

She held the pictures tightly in her hand, trying to calm herself down. She looked into the eyes of her smiling daughter and a tear slipped down her cheek. She never wanted her but she loved her, she knew that much. She just didn't know what to do.

She reached over for the phone and dialled a number, hoping the person would pick up. She had burned this bridge too, and wouldn't be surprised if she was never spoken too again. She desperately wanted the easy conversation that used to exist between them to come back, she craved their old relationship. She needed help and hoped that it would be given.

The phone rang several times and then was picked up.

"Hello Angela?"

"Bren, what's wrong?" Angela said.

She wheezed. "I…"

"Are you okay?" Angela asked.

"Just come." She managed to get out. "Please."

"I'll be right there. Hold on sweetie." Angela said. She hung up the phone, ran out of the room and bumped straight into Jack.

"What's the rush?" he asked.

"I think Bren's having a panic attack." She replied hastily. "I have to go."

"Do you want me to come?" he said.

"No, I think she just needs to see me." She replied, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I will be there if you need anything."

She ran out to the garage, grabbed one of the cars and drove off. She sped down the road towards Brennan's house. She knew she could get a speeding ticket but she didn't care. Brennan had sounded so scared and far away on the phone.

'It's a good thing I know an FBI agent.' She thought to herself as she peeled around a corner. 'Can they help with speeding tickets?'

She finally made it to the apartment and dashed upstairs. The front door was unlocked and as she entered the apartment she saw Brennan sitting on the couch, her knees drawn up to her chest. She was shaking from head to toe.

"Bren.." Angela said softly, moving towards her and sitting next to her on the couch. Angela looked at the table and saw the photo albums everywhere. "Oh god."

When she lifted her head, Angela saw that her eyes were red and puffy from crying.

"What happened?" Angela asked.

"Booth and I talked." She replied simply. "We…he…we are going to try to work things out."

"Okay." Angela said. She had figured as much when Booth had come to pick up Chris earlier. Although he looked exhausted, she could see something different in his eyes.

"He showed me some pictures of Chris to explain about what happened and then he left to pick up Chris and I started looking through the albums." She said, her voice trembling.

"I found this picture." She said, showing the picture of Parker and Chris to Angela. " And it reminded me of when Mom and Dad used to take Russ and I to the beach. See the picture of me and Russ?" She held out the picture to Angela.

"Wow, sweetie, they are almost alike." Angela said. "And you and Chris…"

"I know." She said. "Have…have you ever made a mistake so bad that you didn't know how to fix it?" Her eyes were brimming with tears.

"Oh sweetie." Angela said sadly. She put the pictures down and reached over and gave her a hug.

"Please." She pleaded. "Angela, I don't know how to fix this. I hurt her and Booth. What if I do it again?"

"Look at me." Angela said, pulling away from the hug. "You made a mistake Bren, you can't be perfect all of the time. It doesn't matter now. What matters now is that you don't make the same mistake again."

"I don't know how to be a mother." She replied. "How can I?"

"You do the best you can." Angela said firmly. "I have never seen you back down from a challenge once in all of the years that I have known you, you are not going to back down now are you?"

She nodded slightly.

"Plus you have Booth." Angela said. "He will be there right beside you, okay?"

"Okay." She said. She took several deep breaths and found herself calming down. She leaned back against the couch.

"Angela, it hurts. I missed all of this." She said, gesturing to the albums. "It hurts."

"I know." Angela said, leaning over and giving her another hug. "I wish I could make it go away for you."

"I'm sorry, Angela." She said, brushing a tear away. "For everything."

"It's okay." Angela replied. "That's what friends are for."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: So inadvertently I wrote the last chapter! I hope you have enjoyed this story, there is most definitely going to be a sequel, it just felt right to end it here. Unfortunately you have to read this long author's note first! I am overwhelmed by the response to this story. 171 reviews! That's crazy! I really appreciate it and I can't put in words how much it meant! **

**I think my favourite part about writing this was the reviews and posts from everyone. Right from the beginning, everyone discussed why Brennan did what she did, came up with their own reasons, tried to get me to change parts, it was great. Dialogue emerged that really helped me with my story.**

**This story really took over my life, I found myself thinking about it at odd hours of the day (including dreaming about it!) It's my personal favourite, only because I got to write in a genre (angst) that I hadn't really done before. **

**So I wanted to dedicate this chapter to my Four Years soulmate, Bandbi. First of all she stalked me throughout this entire fic! But she got me out of several ruts and we got into many a conversation about Brennan and why she would do the things she did. She gave me great ideas and I have good ones from her for the sequel, but most of all she encouraged me when I was unsure about my writing. So thank you Bandbi, I really appreciate it!**

**Anyway, I hope you like it!**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

She glanced over at the clock. 4:30 am. She had sent Angela home at 1, promising to go to bed. But she had tossed and turned again, until finally giving up and staring at the wall for the last forty-five minutes.

Getting out of bed, she pulled on a pair of pants and t-shirt, grabbed her keys and headed out the door. Ten minutes later, she was at his door, not really knowing what she was doing there. She knocked and waited. Just as she was about to turn and leave, he opened the door.

"Bones?" he said blearily.

"I wanted to…I came…" She couldn't get the words out. She was so exhausted.

"Okay." He said gently. He ushered her inside and shut the door. She felt tears in her eyes and brushed them away angrily.

"Come on." He said softly. He reached for her hand and she let him lead her to the bedroom. Yawning, he pulled back the covers and got in.

She hesitated, unsure of what to do. She hadn't slept with anyone since he left. Sex, yes of course, even after her kidnapping, but she had never let any of them hold her, not even for a minute.

He could see she was struggling with something so he waited. He knew that in order to make this work between them, he would have to be patient. He was willing to wait.

She slowly sat down on the bed, reached down and slipped her shoes and socks off. She turned and lay down on the bed, not touching him. She reached up and pulled the covers around her, trying not to look at him.

"Temperance." He said softly.

She bit her lip to hold back her tears and inched her way over to him until she was in his arms, her head on his chest. As his hands moved in circles on her back, she felt eyes drooping.

He heard her breathing even out and he knew she was asleep. He pressed a soft kiss into her hair and drifted off to sleep.

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She woke up, confused and disorientated. She was nestled under a soft comforter, it wasn't her own, she wasn't sure where she was. And then she remembered last night, looking at the pictures of Chris, talking to Angela and coming here. To Booth's apartment. She rolled over and found that she was in the bed alone. She felt a wave of panic go through her.

"Hey." He said.

She looked up and saw him standing at the doorway. He crossed the room and sat on the bed next to her. She pushed the fear in her stomach away.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"Almost ten thirty." He replied. He saw the look of panic on her face. "Don't worry, I called Angela and said that you might not be in until later."

She nodded and leaned back against the pillow. She felt better then she had in a long time. It was the first time in two years that she had more than two consecutive hours of sleep. It felt good.

"Where's Chris?" she asked.

"Playing tea party in her room." He replied. "She plays it for hours. She lines up all of her dolls and her bears and I give her some water or juice in a cup and some cookies and off she goes."

"About last night…" she started.

"We don't have to talk about it." He said.

"No I….I want to tell you." she replied. "Last night, after you left I tried to sleep, but I couldn't so I started looking at the photo albums. They made me sad. There was this one picture of Chris hugging Parker, they remind me so much of me and Russ you know? I have the exact same picture of the two of us. I miss him, Booth. I miss him so much and I wish…Anyway, I got upset and Angela came over and we talked." She took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry." She said, her eyes filling with tears. "I thought it was the right thing to do, it was a mistake I know. I saw the pictures and I wanted to be there, with you and Parker and her, I just thought you were better off with out me."

"It's okay." He said. She shook her head. "Temperance, look at me."

She lifted her head. "It's okay." He said more firmly reaching over and tracing her jaw with his finger.

"No it's not." She replied. "It might never be okay. I might never be okay."

"I know." He said. "But it's okay with me."

She looked at him and she knew that he was telling the truth.

"And then I couldn't sleep, so I came over here." She continued. "But when you got into the bed….Seeley I haven't been held like that since you left, it…" she stumbled over her words. "…it made me feel good."

"I'm glad." He replied, moving himself closer to her.

"I need you to understand." She said. "I don't sleep. Ever since…." She trailed off. "Ever since I was kidnapped and they…"

"Temperance.." he said softly. She looked at him, her lip quivering.

"I was so scared Booth." She said quietly. "Day after day I was there and no one came for me. It was so dark and then when they raped me I thought….I thought I was going to die."

"Hey, ssshhh." He replied, pulling her into his arms.

"I wanted you to come Booth and take me away, it hurt so bad." She said, the tears now falling from her eyes.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there." He said, tears pricking his eyes.

"It's not your fault, its mine. I should have…" she started.

"No." he said fervently. "It's not your fault either."

"I can still see it in my mind, it won't go away, I can't make it go away." She whispered. "Please, Seeley. I don't want to hurt anymore."

"I know." He said, rocking her softly. "I know."

The only sounds in the room were their breathing as she sat cradled in his arms. 10 minutes passed, and then 20, neither of them moving from their positions.

"What if….What if she doesn't like me?" she choked out.

"She will, I promise." He replied. "We can do this, Temperance. We just need to take it slow okay? Why don't you spend some time with us, get to know Chris? We don't even have to tell her you're her mother yet if you don't want to. I don't want to push you."

"Okay." She said. The sound of his heartbeat made her feel calm and safe.

"Why don't we start with some lunch?" he said.

"Lunch would be nice." She replied.

He cupped her face and looked deep into her eyes.

"I love you, you know that right?" he said.

She nodded. "I…I love you too."

He lowered her head and kissed her. It was a kiss that spoke of promises and the future. She felt her doubts wash away and she felt safe and protected and most of all, loved. They pulled apart and he rested her forehead against hers.

"Daddy?" Chris's voice came from the hallway.

"Be right back." He said, moving out of her embrace into the hall where he came across Chris.

"Yes, missy?" he asked.

"You said you would play tea party with me, Daddy." Chris said. "And I waited a long, long time!"

"Okay." He replied. "I will come and play tea party. Can Tempe come and play too?"

She nodded excitedly. "I need more cookies and juice, Daddy!"

He smiled at her enthusiasm. "Be right there." He said, as he watched her run down the hall to her room. He popped his head back into the bedroom. "We are going to have to postpone lunch." He said.

"Oh." She said, trying not to sound disappointed.

"Don't worry, it won't be for long." He replied. "We just have a tea party to go to first." He reached for her hand and she took it, following him down the hall to Chris's room, where they could hear her talking.

He opened the door slightly and peered in.

"Don't slurp your tea!" Chris was talking to one of the bears. "Daddy says its not polite and he is coming for a tea party so we have to be on our bestest behaviours. And Tempe's coming too. She's pretty." Chris whispered to one of the bears.

"Knock, knock." He said. "Can we come to the tea party, Princess Chris?"

"Yeah!" Chris replied.

He sat down next to one of the bears and watched Temperance copy his move. He accepted some 'tea' from Chris and watched her give some to Temperance who gamely took a sip.

It would be a fight, he knew. They both had struggles to overcome, problems that would not be blinked away. At some point, they would have to tell Chris that Temperance was her mother and deal with the ramifications of that. Not to mention everything that had happened in the last four years.

But they were together. He had his family.

And right now, that was all that mattered.


End file.
